It still feels really strange to be a widow. I want to squint and say “say what?…no, not me.” I can get through a day, sort of doing the normal things, but at the end of it there’s no Himself to cook for, no one to suggest a movie for Friday night, no one to discuss plans for the weekend. Very strange. But then, how do you change 28-1/2 years of doing things, in 6 months? They say it takes 6 weeks to make a new habit. That depends on the habit. This one is taking a lot longer than that, but I guess that is because I don’t want it to change, didn’t plan for it, resent it being forced on me.
In small ways I guess it’s settling in. For e most part, life is going on and I am adapting ok. It’s just that, now and then, the Strange hits and I don’t understand why Himself isn’t there, on a Friday, making plans and relaxing.
It’s a lonely sort of feeling. I’ll be ok. I am ok.