It still feels really strange to be a widow. I want to squint and say “say what?…no, not me.” I can get through a day, sort of doing the normal things, but at the end of it there’s no Himself to cook for, no one to suggest a movie for Friday night, no one to discuss plans for the weekend. Very strange. But then, how do you change 28-1/2 years of doing things, in 6 months? They say it takes 6 weeks to make a new habit. That depends on the habit. This one is taking a lot longer than that, but I guess that is because I don’t want it to change, didn’t plan for it, resent it being forced on me.
In small ways I guess it’s settling in. For e most part, life is going on and I am adapting ok. It’s just that, now and then, the Strange hits and I don’t understand why Himself isn’t there, on a Friday, making plans and relaxing.
It’s a lonely sort of feeling. I’ll be ok. I am ok.
Because it really is personal... 
((hugs))
All this is normal and will be for a few more months. I sort of came out of it at the 9 month spot. Then the 1st year sadiversary hit and it was again rough. The 2nd year was worse for me. I had come out of the Widow’s Fog and reality bit me big time. I cried more during the second year then I ever did during the first. I’m not a crier, so it really was a jolt that I was so weepy. I’m at 3 years and 10 months. I’m in the “Whatever” stage, “It is what it is” and I never cry. I still get sad, but I don’t cry, I get mad!
I am girding my loins. You and I seem to think a lot alike.