I am not a patient person.. Never have been. Maybe one day I will be. I said earlier that I thought perhaps one thing to come out of #3’s accident would be learning patience. Well, I wish God would hurry up with that, because so far, patience comes in little blips with a lot of “FIX THIS NOW” in between them.

#3’s recovery will be spells of improvement with plateaus in between. He has so much to do, and so far to go, and how far he’s come really is miraculous, but…I want him to be ALL BETTER NOW. Thing is, his brain was pretty banged up. And the brain…controls everything. It takes a while for it to recover from things. It has only been one month (as of yesterday) since his accident. You hear about people being in accidents and remaining comatose for months before waking up. He was out for a week, then started coming to. Now he’s awake like a normal person (with naps…so like a normal tiny human person), and his behavior is that of a very young person. Like…kind of like a toddler, with Skills. His recovery mentally is following the progress of a baby, only much faster. I think I’ve said that before.

He got to come home yesterday. Hopefully being home will help him feel better mentally and emotionally. His moods have been very volatile (normal for brain injured people) and that’s been rough on The Fine Wife and everyone else. But then, if you think of a toddler, and The Terrible Twos….they’re called that because kids that age are so tempermental. That doesn’t make it easier, especially when he’s got the 26 year old man in there as well. It gets complicated.

But patience…that’s what’s needed more than anything. And it’s something I don’t have much of so when I see him looking a little bit vacant, or get a report that he’s trying to get out of bed (body isn’t healed enough to hold him yet), I panic. And yet, it’s only been a month. And other people with similar injuries take MONTHS to wake up, let alone be able to put their own shirts on and get a fork of food to their mouths….and here he is, doing these things and I can see those are miracles…but still I am scared. God tells us to trust His timing.

But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 2 Peter 3:8

For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him. Ecclesiastes 8:6

God has answered so many prayers for #3. I have such joy in that. Seeing His handiwork in the lives of #3 and his family is amazing. Part of me says “Whaaaat?!” and the other part says “Of course He did. He’s God and can do anything.” But there’s also a part that fears and worries and is so pitifully human and frustrating. There’s all these “what if’s”. What if his brain doesn’t recover. What if his leg doesn’t heal properly and he can’t walk. I’m not so worried about all that as I am about his brain. There’s plenty of things that can help a person get around, and plenty of stuff, productive stuff, he can do if his body isn’t quite back to it’s old self. But his brain…what about that?

STOP WORRYING…says The Fella. STOP WORRYING says God, and Jesus, and Paul in the Bible.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:6-7

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.  Matthew 6:33-34

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. Proverbs 12:25

There’s a whole ton of stuff about worry and anxiety in God’s Word. It all leads to one point: STOP WORRYING. GOD’S GOT THIS.  So once I remind myself of all this stuff God has said about it, I can kind of relax…a little bit. God’s got this. #3 is in the palm of His hand, working through the plan God has for him, God’s taking this awful circumstance and weaving it somehow into His plan for #3 and all the people around him. Just because I don’t know how He’s doing it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. I know what *I* want to happen- that #3 will be whole and fully functional, and SOON. I also know that God doesn’t need my input on this. He will listen to my prayers and all the prayers from all over for #3, and if those prayers are asked according to His will, they will be answered.

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15

And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me. Psalm 50:15

Just like the Good book says about worrying (STOP IT), it also says a lot about God hearing what we ask for, and answering those prayers, as long as they fit with His will for our lives. (DO IT). God has done amazing things in #3’s life. He has taken circumstances and molded #3 into a man who loves Him, and loves his family, and works hard to provide and be the effective head of the household. Now he’s teaching #3 something new. I’m not sure what…maybe patience, maybe how to trust other people and rely on them when he needs to…I don’t know. But there’s something in there for #3 as well as for everyone else, even me.

I just wish I knew exactly what it was so I could prepare for it!




About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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1 Response to Patience….

  1. B.B. says:

    I’m a worrier, too, and patience is not my strong suit. I’m glad to hear that he is making progress. Keeping you in my thoughts.

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