Hereafter, this person I met and with whom I am making long-term plans, shall be referred to as The Fella.
Perfect, he isn’t. Neither am I. Compatible, we are, ridiculously so. The relationship is new enough that we don’t know everything about each other, but we finish each other’s sentences in our heads (because we aren’t quite close enough to do it out loud) and say things like “that’s what I was going to say”. Which is a very shallow and silly benchmark for a relationship, but it’s one that the world recognizes.
This past weekend, I went up to his place (to investigate), and the 2 of us drove to Alabama, so he could meet my parents and see The Hillbilly Compound. He loved them and it. They are obviously fond of him, Dad found someone who speaks his language, and Mom someone with whom she was immediately comfortable. #3 was understandably cautious (I mean, he’s pretty protective) but warmed up when he saw how The Fella was with Grandpunkin. #3 informed me that “What matters is not my opinion, but how you feel about him, how he treats you, and if he ever hurts you I will whup his a** ” Later on he said “I’m ok with this, he’s good with Grandpunkin.” and “As the Pater Familias of *my* family, the influence he would have on my son is critical, and I think he’s going to be fine.”
It is nice to be loved.
The Fella got to experience Saturday Night at The Hillbilly Compound, and spent the entire time looking over at me and saying “This keeps getting better and better.” The evening involved BBQ ribs and grilled sausage, platters of potatoes and cole slaw, a couple of cases of Corona, a few extra people who’ve been adopted into the family, lots and lots of laughter, off-color jokes, some firearms, and an intentional explosion. Pretty much a typical Saturday when I’m over there.
And he loves my house, the gardens, and the workshops. His place is similar, though not as spread out, and more developed in several areas. So he saw the potential and has wheels turning in his head. I know this because when I saw his place, my wheels began to turn. I know wheels when I see them.
I think the thing that works between us is the ability to say what we think, and how we think it. He understands the concepts immediately, and can riff off of my ideas to develop them. I can do the same. There’s a lot of “what if we did (this)” and “I think if we took (this) and developed it (that way) there would be an improved (whatever)” and he GETS IT without me having to explain it. And he doesn’t have to explain it to me. That saves a lot of time and frustration.
So in short order (because we’re both in our 50’s and know what we want) we’ve gone from “Hm…” to “Ok, here’s a workable 3-year plan”. That’s the difference between being 20 and looking for someone, and being 50 and looking for someone. It’s far easier to weed out the non-contenders and know when you found the fit.
Also? He’s growing out his bodacious beard. He’d shaved it off for the dating site picture, but had a couple up on his profile with it on. As soon as we started talking a little, I asked if he’d be willing to grow it back, and he hasn’t shaved since. So, maybe a tad scruffy at the moment, but by Christmas he’ll be full-on bearded and by Spring probably approaching Duck Dynasty stunt-double status. Which is FINE BY ME. I know that look isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, bt it’s mine with scone on the side.