I’m trying, #3, I swear I am trying.

So, I contacted Mr. Raptor Center Guy who gracefully slid the situation onto another guy (named Scott)  who said “wellll…tell you what, here’s anothernumberpleasecallhim(Idon’twantabuzzardohpleasenotthatanythingbutthat)
Guy# 3 (Carlton) said “ummmm….well…Here’s anothernumberpleasecallhim(Idon’twantabuzzardohpleasenotthatanythingbutthat)
Guy #4 said “Oh…well…We’re in Charleston, and we don’t really get birds from Georgia. <because we all know birds honor state lines.> Also, it’s nesting season so he probably has a nest in the woods across the street, which is why he isn’t flying, <but I have my doubts>and is coming over because (he pegged you for a sucker) you’re feeding him<or her>But call us back especially if <you’re suddenly overrun with baby buzzards> the situation doesn’t resolve itself in a week or two, and we will see what we can do. ”  He was amused that Steve made himself at home in my bonus room. He did say if Steve continued to make himself at home, they could send a runner over to pick him up. 
I tried emphasizing just how sweet a bird he really is, how he cooperates with my dogs, eats in a clean and delicate manner picking up all the scraps and such, makes no noise and for all I can tell, goes into the woods to poop (at least I’ve found no evidence of his doing his business in my yard). They extolled the virtues of buzzards, to which I wondered if he’s so fabulous, why is everyone reluctant to come get him? Probably due to the potential nest in the woods (apparently turkey buzzards nest on the ground, which seems kind of dumb given the number of raccoons and possums around here, but who am I to judge?)
In the meantime I am looking for someone who will buy a nice house with landscaping issues and a very peculiar looking (and large) yard-chicken with a naked head and potent aroma. For all those shortcomings, he’s quite a nice bird.  <Though I hear dog-food will take care of the Eau de Cathartes Aura.>
Also, from the “How to Scare A Vulture Away” website:
Tie shiny objects, such as blank CD disks, to helium balloons and their strings. Use string that is long enough so the balloons and disks reach near where the vulture’s perch is located. If you notice the vulture play with the balloons, take them down because they are not working as a deterrent. <ya don’t say.>

About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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One Response to I’m trying, #3, I swear I am trying.

  1. Bella Rum says:

    This is becoming quite the saga. The best part for the reader is that he/she can’t guess the ending. It’s an honest-to-goodness cliffhanger.

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