I reckon it’s time to start baking. If I think about it, a trip to the Dollar Store will happen today, for the mini-loaf pans (5/$1). Many years ago I started making little pound cakes and soaking them in a bourbon syrup. Letting them
fester marinate for a while meant they were potent and tasty. Likely I’ll have to buy bourbon for once…Himself always had some but I think it’s all gone now.
I’ll make marshmallows, too. #2’s girlfriend expressed a
curiousity cueriousity dangummit..interest in them. They’re easy to make but no one seems to know that, so are super impressed with them. A few marshmallows, a bit of hot chocolate mix, and a couple of biscotti make a lovely friends-gift. And you can bang it all out at once for about $20.
This week is Finals Week at school. I have 2- in Leadership and in Office Procedure. Those 2 classes were odd to take together. One is How To be A Boss and the other is How To Be A Not-Boss. Pretty comprehensive stuff there! I’m passing all the classes pretty handily. Only in Algebra, which I’m actually passing well with a solid 84%, but that feels like a failure almost, because…well…it’s not a high 90’s like the other ones. I have to keep telling myself a solid mid-B is nothing to be ashamed of. 35 years ago I didn’t give a rat’s ass about my grades, I don’t know why it matters so mu…oh wait. yes I do. Financial aid (grants) are dependent on keeping a high GPA. Which I am, but still. Plus there’s the whole “By Golly I’m going to do this with flying colors because I have something to prove to the Young Whelps in the class” plus I like it when the instructors call me “scary”.
#2’s birthday is Wednesday. I think he’ll be 27? but figuring that out requires arithmetic and I’m in algebra mode. Traditionally I fix whatever they want (no matter how Out There) for dinner. Now that he’s a Grown Man that will be my gift to him. If the others want to get him something that is up to them.
Christmas last year was such a non-event. Understandably and I don’t look back with any regret about that. This year I am hoping to do a bit more. I can think about Himself without choking up. It doesn’t grab me with teeth anymore. I do have some trouble looking through old photos, and I keep coming across them in the oddest places, like in the piano bench or a dresser drawer. I think about mortality a lot more now. It is inevitable, isn’t it. Our bodies are these miraculous creations that are so complicated and function in peculiar ways, and yet they are so temporary and it only takes a small thing to shut them down entirely. I know that on a deeper level now. It isn’t something I shove away and pretend doesn’t exist and even with that I’m not worried or fearful. The temporary nature of corporeal life is just that- temporary. We’re on a proving ground here- and soon (in the grand scheme of things) we will be Elsewhere- I’ll see Terry again, and my Grandparents, Aunt Martha and Uncle Edward (I wonder if she’ll still be shoving tissues up her nose so her hands will be free)…and many others. The thought of getting to Heaven makes the work of living on Earth worthwhile, even with the physical shortcomings and psychological/emotional hardships…all of it works together to make us who we are and even with that, as God’s children we are loved and cherished. Why else would God sacrifice his own Son for our sake? Would I be willing to sacrifice myself for the sake of the rest of the world? Probably not- I’m a coward like that.
But, in the mean time and because I’m a human being with limited insight, I’ll stick with the month of December and hope to make it through mentally intact. Hopefully marshmallows and biscotti will help me keep it together.