The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

 

The Good: I have self control

The Bad: I wrote a rather long post over the past 20 minutes, accidentally hit the magic button (which changes with the moon phase) and deleted it, then while attempting to recover it, deleted that as well.

The Ugly: My language. I am cussing words I didn’t even know I knew.

The reality: It ain’t the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I’ll be fine. I might even fix myself a nice G&T with this stuff made in Alabama that is a remarkable gin that somehow manages to be gin without tasting of paint thinner.  It’s all about the perspective these days. I also need to figure out what to fix for supper. I have a chicken leg, some left over spaghetti sauce, and a bunch of eggs. And some banh pho noodles. oh! I know! We’ll have Cheerios! #problemsolved  #4 has soccer practice and claims to be going to the university library afterward to look at pretty girls  work on an English project, and likely won’t be home until 8-ish. Cheerios it is.

School for this semester is nearly over. I have a final exam in 2 days, and the remnants of a project to turn in tomorrow, and that will be that. I met with an adviser this morning and got signed up for Summer, then met with a financial person who said she just needs one last thing to get financial aid in order. Naturally it is the one last thing I can’t find, which is why she doesn’t have it.  If I have to, we will start with The New Financial Year in August. I DO have the necessary stuff for that.  My grades were good for these 2 classes. 3 of the classes for Summer will be interesting. The non-interesting one is a required thing on How To Be A Responsible College Student And Make Your Parents Proud. I begged her tolet me test out of it. “I’ve BEEN a responsible student! I grew up in University towns and my father was a professor! I know how to take tests and promise not to OD on caffeine and I can safely guarantee I won’t ever get wasted at a frat party and be taken advantage of! (Even if I did get wasted at a Frat party, I’m not the type they’d take advantage of anyway. More likely they’d ask me for a good hangover stomach flu remedy. I would be mistaken for the Housemother. Do they even have housemothers anymore?) At any rate, I am kind of loving school. Learning stuff, doing something with a concrete goal in mind, all that.

I have started going through stuff and deciding what to keep and what not to. The land for my house is supposed to getting cleared this week, then construction will begin. Thanks to Craigslist, I have found Old Things to use in the house- solid doors, etc. those need to be on hand before the building begins, so the guy can measure and make the door openings the right size. Thing about these old stuffs is that they might not be exactly of a size, so each door will have to be measured as the framing goes up. Kind of fiddly and complicates things, but I am trying to have a Old House built, and putting in Old Things like doors and fixtures makes it feel old. I found a bunch of like-sized old doors on Craigslist, and will go get them this weekend, thus legitimizing my truck for more than taking trash to the dump. Also makes me feel better about having a long-bed.

Cleaning out and buying doors and investigating woodstove styles is making it feel more real. Deciding what to keep and what to sell can be painful. 2 days ago, as I was doing some cleaning, I came across a basket full of ornaments I’d made for Himself over the years, and that did me in for the rest of the day. Looking at each one, dated and remembering making it, and how he laughed about them was bittersweet. Maybe one day they will go up on a Christmas tree, or maybe I’ll let the boys go through and pick out a couple for themselves. For now, though, looking at them and all, it was kind of gut wrenching. I know there will be many moments like this as I get the house ready to move. That’s why I’m starting 2 years ahead of time.  I am sure, as time moves on, it will get less bitter and more sweet. But for now, I can’t look in photo albums or handle the bits and pieces of the last 28-1/2 years without having to take time after to recover. It’s just how it is, and that’s the story of my life right now.

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About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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2 Responses to The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

  1. jerseechik says:

    ((hugs))

  2. Bella Rum says:

    Two years before the actual move, we started cleaning out in prep for moving. I swear, we needed every day of it. It is hard to part with certain things, even harder in your situation. Everything seems so final. You’ve been through so many changes this past year. So glad school is going well for you.

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