It’s been some kind of year, eh. Easily the most….hm….changiest one of my life. There have been some ridiculously awful things, some ridiculously ridiculous stuff, and some extremely growy things. (I love making up words)
All said, what’s happened? I grew up, for one thing. Circumstances swept all the dependence away and forced me to start adulting in earnest. Not without some kicking and screaming. 28+ years of being able to depend on someone else having my back led to a degree of softness and…not really helplessness, but certainly allowed me to take things in a pretty relaxed sort of way. Now I have to adult all by myself, which is actually ok. It’s not as bad as it seems when you’re a pampered pampered princess. It’s just…different.
I managed to Health Care marketplace. That deserves a cookie or two. Or maybe a bottle of wine.
The yard has completely gone to hell. But I don’t care.
I’ve been able to say to my grown children, when they whine about something, “Who do you think I am, your mother?” Oh wait…ok but still. you figure it out. You’re a grown man. And they did, which has been good for them as well.
This past 10 months has been spent Figuring It All Out. And it’s taken the entire time to do it. I sort of had nebulous plans (School! How To Pay Bills!), but they needed fleshing out. ok, school. That’s pretty vague. How about figuring out HOW to school in a way that will be financially sensible and help me qualify for A Real Paying Job when it’s finished. None of this “Hey I think I want to be a (something fun but not very useful)!” Nope, it’s business administration because just about everyone needs a well rounded and practical office manager. I don’t need to make a ton of money, either. Just enough to pay the bills and occasionally cover Sushi Night.
Paying bills has been an adventure. The first couple of months were full of panic and CRAP! I CAN’T GET ON HIS COMPUTER AND HE DID IT ALL ONLINE! So I let them lapse long enough for polite reminders to show up, then called customer service, explained it all, and found an attorney. For a couple of months after, a utility bill would show up and I’d go “HEY! I just paid that about…a month ago.” Eventually everything settled into place, and is chugging peacefully along now. Thanks to a life insurance policy I insisted Himself take out when he started making noises about wanting a motorcycle, there is enough to pay bills while I figure everything else out.
Ok, now. I’ve said this before and I’m going to say it again because IT’S IMPORTANT. If you have a spouse and children, or own stuff, GET A WILL. Himself didn’t have one and let me tell you, the convolutions and indigestion THAT cause are something you do NOT want to impose on anyone you care about. It’s hard enough wrapping your mind around the loss of this person, remembering basic functions like eating and bathing, to add to it the legalities (ESPECIALLY WITH CHILDREN!} of an estate is rather heartless. There was stuff like co-heirs and guardians-ad-litem and probate…woof. Please don’t do that to your family. I was very fortunate in that my grown children were willing to cooperate. I can only imagine what a clusterfuck (and seriously, that’s the word) it would have been if even one of them had balked. So don’t be an asshole. GET A WILL.
There are some things I still haven’t quite gotten back in order. Like I said earlier, the yard. It’s a bloomin’ mess and needs a good hit with some kind of heavy duty weed killer, and to get replanted. Just start from scratch.
I haven’t gotten back into making menus and buying groceries in an organized manner, though I’m working on it. In the past, 2 weeks of menus and groceries would happen, and we would all be pleased at the regular meals every night and lunches and stuff. But this year…notsomuch. Occasionally I’ll cook a thing, and throw it out there for the hyenas, but as for daily meals of meat and 2 veg…that has suffered. The new year, along with it’s other scheduled stuff (like SCHOOL!) will hopefully include more regular meals. It’s not really a New Year’s Resolution, but Jan 1 is as good a time to start something back as any.
So, in spite of the hits we’ve taken this year, we’re doing ok. #4 got his driver’s license and is doing well in school. #3&Wife produced a Grandpunkin and all are doing well. #2 is in school and working. He stumbled a little bit grade-wise, but hasn’t been thrown in a dungeon or anything, and has recovered well. #1 is studying for some IT certifications and has an excellent job lined up once those happen. I start school on January 11, to study for an associates degree in Business Administration. We have all had to learn to look at the world differently. A world without himself in it is altered for us, each in a different way, but definitely altered. It’s not the kind of thing I can say “It’s HORRIBLE!” because even though the event of his death WAS horrible, and I still miss him so much, good things, growy learny adulty things, are coming of it. So I can’t say we are cursed or punished or anything like that. I can only say we are on a different path than the one we expected.
And there are 2 loaves of pumpkin bread baking in the oven. How bad could it be when the house smells this good?