Whereupon I rant

pug·na·cious
pəɡˈnāSHəs/
adjective
  1. eager or quick to argue, quarrel, or fight.
    “the increasingly pugnacious demeanor of politicians”
    synonyms: combative, aggressive, antagonistic, belligerent, bellicose, warlike,quarrelsome, argumentative, contentious, disputatious, hostile,threatening, truculent;

    “this looks like the kind of dive that appeals to pugnacious patrons”

I have been feeling pugnacious. Not in the “I’ma run over those irritating people in the Walmart parking lot” but more of the “the world is filled with morons and I seem to be one of the VERY few people with any sense” kind of way, which makes me want to tell people to JUST STOP IT and be all disputatious, truculent, and hostile. I want to threaten them with a fiery tempered (automatically hot) and aggressively belligerant smack across the back of their heads.

Here’s why: Apparently, Starbucks of the Coffee Thing (not the Starbuck of the whatever-that-show was called in the late ’70’s with the robots with the oscillating red eye that cashed in on the Star Wars Space Theme thing) chose to go the Plain and Simple Route for their Christmas Coffee Cup this year. Plain red, no snowflakes or nuttin. Apparently in the past their cups featured Nativity scenes and small indulgences with which you could redeem for a day out of purgatory  snowflakes and depictions of an assortment of festive ornamentation, and since the Nativities and indulgences  snowflakes and seasonal festive ornaments are not there, Starbucks has declared A WAR ON CHRISTIANS. 

This image has been blurred to protect the delicate sensibilities of the Pure Of Heart

This image has been blurred to protect the delicate sensibilities of the Pure Of Heart

oh…Well then. IF I WERE A GOOD AND PROPER CHRISTIAN I WOULD BOYCOTT, BOYCOTT I SAY! Starbucks. And here it is, Pumpkin Spice Latte season and stuff.

Dear America,  Here we go again with the egregious butthurt stupidity. Good Lord, people. JESUS WOULD NOT DRINK STARBUCKS BECAUSE OF THE SNOWFLAKE DEFICIENCY   So march your Bible thumping self righteous selves right into your nearest Starbucks and TELL THEM. YOU WANT SNOWFLAKES. Because Jesus would want it that way. Pretty sure of it.

Once again, I sit down and fantasize about my near (18 months now) future, in the new house in the middle of an isolated Hillbilly Compound, where I can set up heathen red Starbucks cups small targets (tin cans, squirrels ~yum~ and the like) and wreak Hillbilly havoc, gleefully pretending to be Ma Ingalls or maybe Gramma Clampett or something. and ignore The Butthurts™

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About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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4 Responses to Whereupon I rant

  1. jerseechik says:

    Actually, part about “shepherds keeping watch in their fields by night” would preclude snow on the ground, so removing snowflakes is actually *more* Christmas-y, yes?

    Jesus made His own coffee, of course. “He brews” is the Biblical proof.

  2. Judy says:

    I feel this way about most things in our society lately. Jesus must have been born no later than October because Shepherds in that area DO NOT have their flocks in the fields in December–BUT I still celebrate Christmas in December because….well, up here in the north country we need a lot of sparkly lights in the dark of December AND I will too say Merry Christmas to everyone I meet because —I am not nor ever have been P.C. Sorry ’bout that…AND I don’t drink coffee, so why am I ranting about Starbucks leaving snow flakes off their cups? Oh wait–that was you. LOL

    • rootietoot says:

      I’m all about saying Merry Christmas and stuff, and while I agree that Christ was more likely to have been born in the Fall or Spring, and Christmas on December 25 was meant to appease pagans who were unwilling to give up Yule, I have no issues with celebrating it when we do. The issue is with people being ridiculous. But you know that already.

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