Starting the process

I am finally going through things. It isn’t as bad as I feared, but then I am also starting with the things that have no emotional attachment. When The Company cleared out Himself’s office and gave us the boxes, I stacked them in the corner of The Room Where Things Go To Be Ignored (avoided, whatever). Don’t we all have a place like that? A room, or a closet, or some spot where those things you don’t want to deal with, or maybe when someone important is coming to visit and you don’t have time to really tidy up so you just shove everything into that place? My  place is a big game room. It was a bloomin’ mess. Lots of stuff over a long period of time had been shoved in there and it was a real mess, more than I wanted to deal with.

Then, #1 (bless him!!) offered to come over and organize and clean it up. He is good at doing that, when properly motivated and I think he was feeling bad for me or something so he did it. Now the pool table can be used! It was piled high. He organized, threw stuff away, and stacked everything neatly along one wall. And now instead of feeling lost and overwhelmed, it is a thing that is manageable. And so it is being managed.

3 stacks: Trash, Keep, Donate. There are a bunch of VHS tapes, and we have this converter thing that will put a VHS onto a DVD. So, I saved the ones of the kids doing stuff, Himself is in a couple of them (Yay!), and all those old Thomas the Tank Engine ones. Like 15 of them. They were the things that allowed me to indulge in personal hygiene when the boys were toddlers.

I am also going through all of himself’s office stuff, tools, books, etc. It isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. Baby steps, I guess. I don’t have a personal stake in all of those chemistry books and such. The chemistry and industry-specific books have been offered to someone (many of them are very old and kind of cool, but don’t know how actually useful they might be). Tools are boxed up so the boys can go through them, and everything else pitched. 5 boxes have been scaled down to 1.

All the other stuff in that room, sorted and boxed up for Goodwill. There are a couple of boxes of paperback books, mostly juvenile lit, too young for #4. I am loathe to throw away books but don’t want to store paperbacks, so they will go to Goodwill as well. Due to laziness, I don’t want to fool with looking for homes for them. Goodwill is a good home and I approve of their mission.

This is the step needed toward downsizing. Fortunately there’s 2 years available to slowly go through stuff, make decisions…some of them will be hard but the new house will be too small to hang on to everything for the sake of sentimentality. Besides, Himself was the sentimental one. I am content with photographs and memories. The boys get dibs on everything before it leaves, but beyond that, I am not keeping it.

There is so very much to go through. And since I am the one living with it, I can’t really ask anyone else to make those decisions for me. I can see down the road a bit, cleaning out his closet and dresser. I know it’s coming and I don’t fear it, I just don’t particularly look forward to it either.  Getting rid of the office stuff is a good start, a kick in the right direction or something. And it isn’t hurting. I am not having trouble with it, now that it is orderly and all. I am so thankful #1 did that for me. It was a gentle push in the right direction.


About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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3 Responses to Starting the process

  1. jerseechik says:

    You’re so amazing! Good work!

  2. I just hauled a load over to the school gym for tomorrow’s rummage sale (instead of Goodwill this time). They were most appreciative! You’re doing great with baby steps!!! (Even though you hate to hear that!)

  3. Judy says:

    What you are doing is all part of the “process”. I had to do the personal things quickly–hours after his funeral–because his kids were here from another State and were leaving the next morning. Cleaning out the closet came the next week–most all his clothes went to the Salvation Army store up the street. His big, ugly, brown leather recliner went to my daughter. It is kind of nice, when I visit her, to see it and sit in it–she loves it. His dirty sneakers sat near the front door for six months–right where he stepped out of them, his last day. I threw them in the trash and then the next day, went out and retrieved them. 3.5 years later and they still sit on the closet floor in our bedroom, where they will remain. I can just imagine the looks on my daughter’s faces when I die and they come to clean out and find his shoes there. “Why in the world would Mother keep these?”

    You are doing good!

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