Easter Sunday was…different. It was the first Sunday I attended in the new sanctuary, which is huge and wonderful. Someone suggested that I sit in a spot that wasn’t where Himself and I normally sat. So we (me, #’s 2 and 4) did. It helps, and emotions didn’t take over until the very end. In recent years, Himself has had to work Easter weekend, so there wasn’t a whole lot of “OH, He isn’t here with us!” to draw on. The boys and I went out for Mexican food afterward.
It’s all like that these days. There is a whole lot of Different going on. We are settling into the “just 2 for dinner” thing relatively well, though I admit to eating in front of the tv more these days. It’s easier than sitting at the table and having that empty chair. #4 was distressed by the head of the table spot not having Himself in it, so I turned the table 45 degrees, so there doesn’t appear to be a head anymore. That helped but neither of us is excited about eating at a table without Himself. We will return to it soon enough, when we’re ready.
I am learning that everything doesn’t have to be run through the Himself Filter anymore. I never realized how many decisions were filtered like that. Everything…clothes, colors of the wall, furniture, movies and music…all of it. Now those decisions are mine to make, what *I* want without considering anyone else’s taste. I am not really sure how to go about that, except for Google images and Pinterest.
I know I LOVE this….(only butcher block top on that island thing, not marble)
I lived with my parents until I was 21, then married and lived with Himself. I have never lived on my own, or made major (and many minor) decisions without considering how Himself would think about it. That I can paint furniture (Himself didn’t like painted furniture), make an upholstered headboard, and put a ruffle on something is a strange way to think.
It all means I have to learn to think entirely for myself, which is kind of a heady feeling. I might even plant a snowball bush.