Now what?

I thought it would 50 or 60 years. I thought we would turn into old people together, cherish our grandchildren together, have Christmases and Independence Days and birthdays together, with a big family and lots of noise and little kids running around while their parents try to shush them and we would tell them to make all the noise they want and here’s a cookie.

We were going to see the Grand Canyon and the redwoods and Wine country New York City Niagra Falls Catalina Island Crater Lake and The Badlands. Take a train ride.

He was going to build a cradle and a crib and a dollhouse go-kart tire swing chicken coop rebuild a car teach blacksmithing dovetails carving and I was going to watch and cluck about the noise and mess and feed them cookies.

I was going to get him a basset hound and he was going to get me a golden retriever. He was going to keep me in convertibles until I got tired of my hair getting messed up and I was going to keep him in trucks until it got too hard to get out of them.

I was going to fuss about the mess. He was going to tell me to quit fussing.

Now what? Who am I going to get old and fat with? Who’s going to compliment my cooking and encourage me to get the nice stuff? Who am I going to cook for in 2 years, when #4 leaves home?

Who am I supposed to sit on the patio with, have an adult beverage and quiet conversation, when the sun still shines at 6 p.m.? What am I supposed to do with the evenings?

Who do I talk to now? Who’s going to be Grandpa? Now what?

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About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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5 Responses to Now what?

  1. Judy says:

    You are thinking too far ahead. Just take this time to start healing a bit. It will all fall into place. In two years, when #4 leaves, you will be in a much better frame of mind. Breathe.

  2. jerseechik says:

    That Judy, she’s a smart one.

  3. Barbara says:

    Yep. I agree with Judy. Doing the single empty nest thing…well, that’s why and how you see me so busy around the church, taking on baby showers, being blessed to getting to know and involved in the lives of young women and growing families, and learning how to minister to women and spur them on to ministry to each other, and so on and so forth. Something about the Lord putting the isolated into families….. But all that is in time. One foot in front of the other, one at a time.

    When you’re ready….I thought today about Grace Mark. Six years ago February 9 she lost her husband to throat cancer. They were young and blogged through the whole thing together, and sought to glorify the Lord in it. And that they did. 100,000 people attended his funeral. Just this young Motorola employee and his wife having touched the lives of so many. I was one of the ones taught by their example. She continued blogging even from his deathbed and beyond up until the fifth anniversary of his death. She has a lot of wisdom on those pages. And just about a month or so ago I saw that she has joined us over at Sovereign Grace Singles. Graceandrew.blogspot.com. When you’re ready.

  4. Barbara says:

    Oops no, 100k heard the funeral message. Not physically attended. Because of the blog. It’s late. Goodnight. Hugs.

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