I can’t pretend to be a teenager anymore

So…my third son is getting married next Saturday. It will also be his 23rd birthday, which means there will never be a decent excuse for him to forget it! It is also Himself’s and my 28th wedding anniversary, which means I will never have an excuse to forget theirs!

I think #3 is feeling some nerves, as he calls nearly every day. I used to have to call him to make sure he wasn’t decomposing in a ditch somewhere, only identifiable by dental records, or sold into slavery to a pimp in Thailand (he is a small and very cute person, especially when he was younger, and I worried about that). No issues with that now, as I get calls for all sorts of reasons. I am not complaining, it is nice to be needed by one’s almost-23 year old son.

Anyway, I think we’re ready. They requested quilts to cover the bales of hay people will use for seating, and I am making a stack. I think it is a precious idea and will be very colorful, as well as fitting for their country wedding with mason jars of flowers and groomsmen’s boutinneirs bootineers flower things they wear made of blue shotgun shells holding the flowers. How cute is that idea?

Philosophically I’m getting there. Himself and i have long said that #3 would be the first one to get married. He’s been agitating about getting married since he was 20, and gave up The Wild Ways Of His Youth. Funny how that happened, like someone flipped a switch and he set all that aside and got smart. But he has always been like that, making a decision and acting on it right away, no looking back.

The idea that we will have a married child is kind of like stepping into another Phase Of Life. As long as the kids are all single, it is easy to pretend I am young. With a married kid, you can’t pretend that anymore. Now you’re solidly middle aged leaning toward AARP membership. Himself turned 50 last January, so he is already getting offers for membership. That’s really funny when you’re on the south side of it, but I am sure once I get offers, and start having hot flashes and inexplicable mood swings (no comments from the peanut gallery, please. I said INEXPLICABLE) it will no longer be amusing. Gray hair becomes gray hair and not interesting highlight. That swimsuit with the skirt is…age appropriate.

There’s another euphemism….Age appropriate. Usually applied to older women with less-than-perfect bodies (cellulite, sun damage, spider veins, et al), who shop at age appropriate places like The Women’s Department in Belk or maybe Talbot’s (if they’re thin enough). Well, my swimsuit has graduated from Modest to Age Appropriate. It’s the same suit it has always been,just applied differently.

Anyway, next up: grandkids. I am more ready for that than the AARP membership invitation. They seem more fun and my friends who have them are always ranting about how fabulous it is to be able to hand a kid back when they get tedious, which according to the friends, the kids never do because you’re not in charge of discipline. Oh, to be able to play with kids and feed them fun crap then hand them back. I can’t wait! And to make impractical clothes like a John Deere tractor shirt with a camo tutu sewn to the bottom! I’ve been thinking about this for a while, can you tell?

Anyway, I leave for Alabama and wedding preparations in a couple of days. There will be one last fitting for the dress, in case nerves have affected her size, a rehearsal dinner at an Italian place, folks coming from out of town, and all sorts of good stuff. Wish us luck!


About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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4 Responses to I can’t pretend to be a teenager anymore

  1. Bella Rum says:

    I do wish you luck and lots of it and also to #4 and his bride to be. Love the quilts on bales of hay idea. A country wedding sounds just right to me, especially after reading about your boys for so many years. This is one of those memorable days, Rootie. I know it will be joyful. And I also know that grandbabies are God’s gift for putting up with our kids for so long. 🙂 All the best to all of you.

    • rootietoot says:

      Thanks 🙂 There have been mild panics here and there, but nothing unmanageable. I am seriously looking forward to there being another woman in the family.

  2. Beth Oldham says:

    I agree that any phone call from a son is worth celebrating! We need to have a BIG PARTY in May to induct you into the 50 club. Yep, there’s a club and dress code is modest bathing suits and no shorts.

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