The Story of Dead Klaus

Several months ago, David came home with this half-grown kitten. He was kind of small for his age, but had an enormous head (proportionally speaking) and paws. David said the kitten was a feral one that had taken to hanging around a friend’s house, but the friend’s dog kept trying to eat the kitten, and he was too sweet natured to take to the pound. So David brought him here with the hope that we would let him keep the kitten, with all those promises people make to their parents like “Of course I’ll feed him/clean the litter box/pay for vet care” I was trying to take the hard line about it, but went from “NO” to “Ok fine, but he stays outside”. Then Terry came home from work and the kitten loved him up a bit and Terry was all “Oooh can we keep him pleeeease?” and I said “ok fine. But David has to pay the vet bills”and Terry said “Oh, we’ll take care of the vet bills, for David is a Poor College Student earning minimum wage and I want to keep the kitten” so I was like “Ok fine, you’re the Pater Familias and what you say goes.”

By this time, David named the kitten “Hergescheimer” after a character in a James Bond movie. Not a villain, just a small  character. When I took Hergescheimer to the vet for shots and neutralizing, and told the receptionist his name, her eyes glazed over and she timidly asked if he had another, easier to spell and pronounce, name. I thought briefly and said “How about Just Klaus”. She was much relieved. While there, Dr. Gary (the vet) guesstimated Just Klaus’s age to be about 11 months, and predicted he wouldn’t grow  much more.

Never underestimate the power of good nutrition.


Anyway,Just Klaus is probably (in the words of #4) “the most chill cat ever”. Seriously. You never see him move except on the rare chance to can catch him in the food bowl…which really isn’t rare at all. He is often in the food bowl.  He has also grown from 4 pounds to nearly 11. His head is still large, but now proportional to his body.

Dead Klaus

Because we rarely see him move, and because his typical posture is on his back, with his lower half wide open and his upper half twisted sideways, we now call Dead Klaus. He is usually in that same position, in various places in the house ranging from the floor, to the stairs (occasionally with the upper body on one step and the lower one on another and for some reason I can never find the camera when he’s like that), to the dining table, to some box or another.

Dead Klaus

Dead Klaus


He will soon have his own Facebook page, and possibly a website, tho I don’t know how interesting a website of not-dead cat pictures would be. I think I am a little late to that party.  I set up a twitter account, but somehow  the password was lost and all the normal ones don’t work.   I’ll let you know when the Facebook account is up.




About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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2 Responses to The Story of Dead Klaus

  1. terry says:

    Hergeshiemer was what Albert Brocolli called any unnamed character with a speaking line in the Bond movies (such as the desk clerk at the hotel, etc). In Diamonds Are Forever there was a guy in the lab with enough lines that it was decided he should actually have a name so they called him Klause Hergesheimer. When David first brought him home he said he could not decide on a name, so I called him Hergesheimer because he was an unnamed character….

  2. Jo says:

    Aw, what a sweetheart. You guys are kind people to take him in. I hope your Siamese cats are adapting to his presence. Re: the eating — I guess that’s normal behaviour for a feral cat; they’re used to eating whenever they get the chance.

    Merry Christmas to your and your family!

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