Nitpicking

pe·dan·tic
pəˈdantik/
adjective
  1. 1.
    of or like a pedant.
    “many of the essays are long, dense, and too pedantic to hold great appeal”
    synonyms: overscrupulous, scrupulouspreciseexactperfectionistpunctilious,meticulousfussyfastidiousfinicky;

    dogmaticpurist, literalist,literalistic, formalist;
    casuistic, casuistical, sophistic, sophistical;
    captious, hair-splitting, quibbling;
    “a pedantic interpretation of the rules”

     

    This defines me perfectly.  I am one of those people who picks out inconsistencies in movies, and comments about them. Loudly.

    pedantic-kitten-300x269

    You know what I hate? When someone in a movie shoots a shotgun and the noise is “ka-POW” That makes me want to throw something and foam at the mouth. Shotguns (especially big ones, like they use in movies) go BOOM, not ka-POW.   Rifles go ka-POW.  It would be like putting in a visceral V-8 rumble on a 1970 Beetle. Ridiculous. And believe you me, I’m going to point that out. I’m also going to point it out when a character from South Georgia is sporting a badly coached Kentucky Southern accent. People. Have more pride in your craft and GET IT RIGHT. It’s not that hard! You think a Southern accent is a Southern accent is a Southern accent? Think again. How would you feel if a character from Boston sounded like he was from Philadelphia? To someone in China was watching it, they’d probably not notice the difference…but you (assuming you’re from the USA) sure would.

    Here’s another thing. “Chemical free” cleaners and such, all about the vinegar and baking soda and that’s really nice, I agree. BUT….vinegar and baking sodas are CHEMICALS. Vinegar is 10% acetic acid (the other 90% is…dihydrogen oxide, also known as H2O…or…water…also technically a chemical, albeit a common and relatively innocuous one). Baking soda is sodium bicarbonate. Enough of that will damage your kidneys, aggravate high blood pressure, and put you into alkalosis. Dangerous stuff, that! BE CAREFUL!  Ok, so they’re less likely to cause big problems if you drink a huge glassful of vinegar and baking soda (bloating, I’d say.) than if you drank a huge glass of Lysol, but neither is intended for that purpose.  I have no argument with someone wanting to limit the amount of “chemical cleaners” in their household, but to say they don’t use chemicals to clean is…well…wrong.  Here’s a thing I like to do:

    Boys bathrooms stink. They just do. To deal with the stink, I mix about a cup of baking soda with a 1/2 cup of lemon juice (citric acid! Plus lemonine and an assortment of oils) to make a paste. Smush it around the bottom of the toilet and the immediate surrounding floor. Let it sit and dry for a few hours, then go back and scrape it all up. Wipe it down with a 10% acetic acid solution (vinegar!) and dry. NO BOY AROMA! In fact, practically no aroma at all except perhaps a little residual lemon scent.  I suppose you could, if you weren’t a pedant like me, call it chemical free cleaning, but it isn’t. What it is, however, is stunningly effective and pleasant.

    Now, don’t get me wrong,  I am not advocating throwing away everything you use for cleaning or cooking or whatever, and all your shampoos and stuff and going Au Natural, I am simply saying to call it what it is.

    Natural soaps? I love my Dr. Bronner’s. But you know what? Soap is a chemical. A melange of all sorts of chemicals like lye and fats and water. “LYE!!” you shout, suddenly concerned for the safety of those you love. Yes, lye. Mixed with fats it goes through a chemical reaction (O the HORROR!) called saponification, the result of said reaction is soap.  It’s ok. You can even eat a bit of soap with no more adverse affect than a bit of slippery-gut syndrome (exciting if you get excited about such things, otherwise just inconvenient for a day or two. Children, don’t do this because no. you won’t fart bubbles. Ask David, he tried it when he was 7.)

    Being pedantic is fun for the pedant, and irritating for everyone else. Himself rolls his eyes and asks me to be quiet and just enjoy the movie, then tries it himself and finds it’s fun. My children have been raised to be pedants, for the simple reason that I want them to think critically, and be able to catch inconsistencies in books and movies.

    Oh! Recently I read the beginnings of a trashy romance that took place in Key West, The main character sniffed on some lilacs. LILACS DON’T GROW  IN KEY WEST. When I read that I had to put the book down because the author lost all credibility.  She could have sniffed so many other things. Plumeria is very fragrant, and grows there. She could have tucked a hibiscus blossom behind her eat, or picked some bougainvillea for a wreath. How hard would it have been for the author to google “flowers that grow in key west” (see what I did there? it took 2 minutes). Ok. then I googled “will lilacs grow in Key West” and apparently there is an Arabian lilac that will, with proper pampering. But still…I was being pedantic and I know it.

    Pedantism got me lots of friends in grade school *snort*, where I quickly developed a reputation for being a sarcastic smart-ass, and was only spoken to when someone felt like being verbally abused. As an adult, I have tried to tone it down as much as I can. I want friends, and I don’t want to be thought of as someone to avoid as much as possible.

    That doesn’t stop me from rewinding a movie and shouting at shotguns that go kaPow, and scenes that move from mid-day to nighttime, even though the character only drove across town. And I will certainly point out that water and vinegar are BOTH powerful chemicals capable of doing quite a bit of harm if misused.

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About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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6 Responses to Nitpicking

  1. I’m just as pedantic as you, apparently. I get nine kinds of twisted up when medicinal “cures” holler about being “all natural” implying it is good for you. Um…there is a WHOLE DAMN BUNCH of natural stuff out there that is so not good for you.

    Oy vey.

    I hear you.

  2. Bella Rum says:

    I’m one of those people who finds inconsistencies in movies. Dorthy’s hair is long… then it’s short… then long again in The Wizard of Oz, and the ruby slippers are black in one scene. My husband hates this scrutiny, and wishes I would shut up. He is capable of suspending reality to a greater degree than I am.

  3. Darcie and I were watching one of the Twilight movies together, and something happened, can’t remember now what, and I said, “Oh yeah, right! That can’t happen!” Darcie looked at me and said, “Mom, it’s a VAMPIRE movie!” Boy, was I put in my place.

    • rootietoot says:

      Debbie, because I am excessively biology-minded, when I heard that Edward got Belle pregnant, I snorted and said “That can’t happen because he’d DEAD, and DEAD men have no blood flow, thus cannot get an erection, therefore he could not have had successful sex and make her pregnant!” I was accused of thinking too much..

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