The household is positively brimming with medical issues! Now,I do love a medical issue,if it’s not mine. It’s a challenge, to see if whatever discomfort/condition/malady the person/persons are enduring are within my skill level to remedy/alleviate/soothe. If not, then I get to choose which medical professional is required, make the necessary appointments, and
chauffeurr cheufuerr drive around. Fortunately none of the current ailments are of the immediate and emergency type. Indeed they are scheduled and anticipated, even if no less uncomfortable for the individual who’s enduring them. O, if only we could schedule all of life’s miseries!
Wouldn’t it be nice if, when born, we were given a list of ailments we were going to suffer in our life, and the ability to choose when? What would we do? As parents, when would we schedule our child’s illness and infirmity? As adults, would we resent our parent’s sense of timing, or would we be grateful they either got the mess out of the way when we were young or waited until we were old enough to decide for ourselves? I am pretty sure as teens we’d resent it either way. All this thinking has opened a whole different train of thought that I am not going to go down today. It’s too early and there’s too much to do.
Here’s what’s happening.
#4 is getting braces on his teeth, that All American Rite of Passage. His teeth are crowded, and that meant 4 of them needed to go. Yesterday was the visit to the dentist for his extractions. What a great dentist it was too! #4 was pumped full of local anesthetic, and we giggled about his inability to say “Babaloo” without drooling. The dentist then said “I’m just going to mess around in here a bit” and 3 minutes later all teeth were out, without #4 even realizing what was going on. After some discussion, #4 and the dentist agreed that the teeth would make a nice necklace, if strung between medium sized bullet casings. While I agree in concept, human molars are not as menacing as, say, grizzly bear canines, unless…well. Anyway, I am going to try to dissuade #4 from fully executing the idea. Kudos to the dentist, however, for rolling with the idea and not giving #4 the hairy eyeball about it. Today #4 is staying home from Cross Country practice, indulging in milkshakes and movies, while taking his once-every-6-hours Tylenol 3. He is a tough fella, tho, and not particularly fazed by whole situation.
The Man of the House, (Himself) is undergoing the process of preparing for a round of surgeries on his left arm. 4 years ago he had a compound fracture of both radius and ulna (lower arm bones) and had plates and pins installed. The ulna healed improperly (it curved) which has resulted in wrist, and elbow problems. Thus, his arm will be rebroken (sawed, actually, much neater than the original breaks) in both places and replated and pinned. Pending the results of an MRI this week, there is a possibility of a second surgery to repair related soft tissue injuries- tendons and ligaments also damaged in the initial injury, also repaired in a second surgery, but also re-injured due to the improper growth and healing processes. Fortunately THIS time around, the pressure to return to work too soon is lessened by work-from-home capabilities, a pair of competent assistants, and the realization that if he returns to work too soon I will not speak to him for several weeks.
So, the past few weeks have been all about Preparations. Phone calls, consultation visits, much scheduling and planning and attempts to make the house as left-hand-deficiency friendly as possible. Also tooth-deficit friendly, which isn’t too hard as all that’s required there are milkshake/smoothie ingredients.
Tho, we have had many discussions with #4 about the dietary changes orthodontia will require of him. No More Popcorn. That’s a tough one, as he eats a bag full every afternoon. No carrots (his go-to snack when there’s no time for popcorn) or whole apples. I’ll teach him the fine art of smoothies. I learned how to make them 35 years ago, when I had braces. Also, Kale chips, which he swears are ridiculous and gross but somehow, whenever I make them, he manages to choke them down then ask for more.
As for Himself, we both know what to expect. This road has been traveled before and 10 weeks (or more…I think it was closer to 18 last time) or so of cutting up his meat, helping him with socks and shoes, and scrubbing his back in the shower is no big deal. He’s worth it and if it means his left arm returns to full function after 4 years of Not Full Function, I am all for it. His orthopedist said it will be a “complicated procedure” but he should have full use of his arm when it’s all done. That means golf (YAY!) and working in the wood shop (DOUBLE YAY!) and most importantly,NO MORE PAIN. Just that makes me smile and eager for the games to begin. We have him a comfortable chair to kick back in, and the entire set of James Bond movies as well as nearly every WW2 movie. This time, we are prepared. Loins girded, missiles loaded, bunker stocked (and other euphemisms for preparedness), God willing that all goes well and complication-free.