good grief

I’m so tired. Sleep isn’t happening too well these days.  There is so much going on that I just can’t talk about right now. Life-altering things are looming on the horizon, and it’s getting in the way of a decent nights sleep.

No, I am not pregnant, and no one is getting married anytime soon.

When I am feeling scattered, mentally fractured, even…I have to get busy doing stuff that requires close attention, so I don’t think about the STUFF. That’s hard to do when sleep is elusive. Which makes it better, I suppose, because I have to concentrate more in order to do it right.

Yesterday, I tried doing something and got distracted and it didn’t work out. One should not get distracted the first time one attempts something. I was trying my hand at making caramels. The recipe seemed easy- dump a bunch of stuff in a pot and let it cook a while, then pour it in a pan to cool. Only…I got distracted and let it cook too long, and also not long enough. Too long, because it wasn’t soft and chewy the way caramels are supposed to be, and not long enough because it wasn’t brittle enough to be toffee. What I ended up with is this stuff that will pull your fillings out.  A friend suggested I give it as gifts to people I don’t like.  David said he’d take it to school and share with people who irritate him. So I will let him.  After I bag some up for a couple of annoying relatives. It will give them something to gossip about.

Second time worked, tho. Today (after a poor night’s sleep involving dreams that Terry was going to dump me for a trophy wife) I tried again, and made these perfect chewy and soft candies that are buttery and delicious.  I kept checking every 5 minutes or so, to see if they were ‘right’.

I also tried for the second time to make marshmallows. The first time was many years ago. They weren’t…right. Too gooey and kind of…well…Biological. The older boys were in Elementary and Middle school at that time, and were thrilled with them, because they resembled thick and infectious snot. So, I let them wrap blobs in waxed paper and distribute them to their friends.   This time I tried Martha Stewart’s recipe and while they aren’t quite as pretty as hers, since I don’t have the technique of spreading them in the pan down pat yet, they are definitely marshmallows, sweet and bouncy and fun.  It was a gratifying venture, and I will likely try it again tomorrow. What is funny on the web page for the marshmallows, is how she tells you carefully how to package them. As if I can’t figure out how to put them in a baggie and tie it shut.  I reckon they’re not proper Martha Stewart Marshmallows if they aren’t wrapped the way she says?

I guess it’s a good thing all the Looming On The Horizon Stuff is happening right now, because I can take that fractious energy and put it toward fixing Christmas goodies.  Every year I make biscotti- I’ve been doing that for 20 years or so, and every year I try my hand at something new. This year it’s candy making.  Also bourbon balls- I’ve never made those before and now they’re quietly sitting in a big can on the piano,gently soaking in boozy splendor.

Hopefully by Friday or sometime next week all the Stuff Looming will be settled in place and we can both get a decent night’s sleep, instead of laying there, wondering what’s going to happen.


About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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5 Responses to good grief

  1. It’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to. (life, not candy. Unlike life candy is serious bidness)

    • rootietoot says:

      How very Calvinist of you! Are you sure you aren’t a Reformed Presbyterian? Those are words I live by, and yes, candy is Serious Bidness indeed. I’ma make some more today.

  2. Ren says:

    Roootie, do you ever hit auto pilot zone with shit? Like almost a muscle memory thing, esp with lack of sleep? I will say, as a confirmed insomniac that zzzquil stuff works. and I could not make candy to save my life….

    • rootietoot says:

      Auto pilot…good grief yes. The first 10 years of my children’s lives were entirely on auto-pilot, as well as probably the last 6. It’s why I live by a fairly rigid schedule, and stuff gets screwed up when something throws the schedule off. I will give the zzzquil a look. Nyquil works pretty well for me, but I have a terrible case of the shakes the next day- can’t even feed myself for half the day. candy is tough stuff, not for the impatient or ones who need instant gratification.

  3. jerseechik says:

    Losing sleep sucks. I hope you find a solution, and will be praying for you. Driving to my house and cleaning is ok with me- the door is always open!

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