It’s that time of year…

Yes, it is. When you start seeing hints and tips and clever ideas for how to avoid that nasty weight gain over the holidays (starting with Halloween candy).

REACH FOR A BABY CARROT INSTEAD OF CANDY CORN! which looks just as cute on a cupcake, y’all.

GRAB AN APPLE INSTEAD OF A MINI SNICKERS BAR! right…absolutely doing that one…

MUNCH ON A SALAD BEFORE GOING TO A PARTY! because I totally want spinach in my teeth…


See…one of my pet peeves…well ok several of them..involve certain words. Hints and tips are two of the biggest ones. They seem to imply you are incapable of thinking of that little tidbit of information all by yourself.

I am a (relatively) intelligent 47 year old woman with a fair amount of life experience.  I do not need to see in my mailbox “Hints for controlling your sweet tooth during the holidays” and then read something as obvious as “don’t eat candy”.  Because if I eat a carrot, my eyes and mouth are utterly fooled into thinking it’s candy corn, due to the similar color. Just like my brain can’t tell the difference between an apple and a Snickers bar…I mean, they’re both edible and what with the peanuts in the snickers bar and the peanut butter I once put on an apple when I was 12, they are totally almost the same thing, kind of.  and yes, I want a big bowl of chopped greens on the bathroom counter while I put on mascara and decide if the red scarf works with the cream sweater. cuz yes, absolutely I have time to nosh on a salad while getting ready for a party so I won’t be hungry and eat all the spanakopita. Because it would be way worse to do that than show up at a party with spinach in my teeth.

I don’t care much about staying slender enough that my hipbones show. I like food and I intend to eat it.  Especially this time of year.



About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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3 Responses to It’s that time of year…

  1. Yeah, those annoy me. An apple does not replace a snickers. It just doesn’t. I’ll just end up eating an apple AND a snickers.

    The most horrific tip I ever read was about skipping the desserts and bringing your own sugar free hard candy to suck on instead.

    Oh sure. Sugar free lifesavers will totally eliminate my craving for a huge slice of pumpkin pie! Not.

  2. Yup. You want to insult a Southern Lady real fast? Turn down her food.

    *shivers just thinking about it*

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