I would call us Tooterites.

Have you ever felt like getting away from it all? I don’t mean taking a vacation to the beach, either. I mean…finding a chunk of land, building a big fence around with and hanging signs on the gate telling everyone you’re an absolute misanthrope and go the hell away. Because there’s dogs and guns and assorted damage causing devices that will be employed if they do not go away.

Mostly, I am ok with people, one at a time. I heard a saying “No one of us is as stupid as all of us.” talking about mob mentality and how a perfectly reasonable person, on their own, is just fine but you get a bunch of people together along with one or two people who know the right words and a whole bunch of shit can get stirred up and suddenly the bunch of people become a mob and immune to reason.

Know what I mean?

This is what makes me go BAH! and throw up my hands, and fantasize about acreage in the boondocks and fences and large dogs and firearms.

I want to handpick my neighbors. I want to become something like a Hutterite, only without the accent and ugly dresses.

It is a fantasy I have entertained since I was a child and had to go to public school, where I could NOT choose who was around me, and didn’t particularly like the people who were.  I can envision a community made of people with various talents- medical, agricultural, animal husbandrical (yes, I just made that word up but I’ll bet a dollar you know what it means), all that stuff. Something peaceful, and self sustaining (mostly).  It would be located in the SouthEast, where water is plentiful and the growing season is 11-1/2 months long.

I want to be DONE with the frustrating people who think they KNOW so much more than everyone else, and use their charisma and large vocabulary and self-made importance to convince people (who are too damn lazy to do the research themselves) of their homemade agenda, no matter how flawed, because it’s how they get affirmation.

No, I cannot go into details due to legal mess.

Suffice it to say I am frustrated to the point of wanting to…well, you know. Leave.

About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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16 Responses to I would call us Tooterites.

  1. pheenobarbidoll says:

    Yep. My fantasy hermit land has gun turrets.

  2. xena says:

    Hmmm…I daydream a lot about winning the lottery. I only play when I actually have 30 extra dollars or more and the jackpot’s up over $40million–which happens about 8-12x/year. My odds aren’t very good, I know.

    I’ve been looking into the areas hardest hit when the real estate bubble popped. In the top 5 were Phoenix AZ and Ontario, CA. Ontario’s crowded, with a higher crime rate than I’m used to, but Disneyland for my son and orange trees in my yard might make up for that.

    Phoenix looks really nice for an allergy sufferer. Some of the smaller towns in AZ look nice too–and more secluded. I wouldn’t mind the heat if I had enough money to not have to work for a living. And I could get me a cute little *green* car and learn how to drive it. 🙂

    Also high on the list were 3 different cities in Florida. Lottery or no, I wouldn’t buy property there bc they have an outrageous Foreigner Tax.

    If you and Terry are doing ok for yourselves when #4 finishes middleschool, you could consider trying to convince the family to look at some dirtcheap real estate within a day or 2 of where you are, Rootie. I really liked Tallahassee when I was there. They’re so proud of their oranges. There were smiley people giving away free oranges and juice everywhere I went.

    I like to watch those Doomsday Preppers shows, too. If I had 3-7 days warning about a coming apocalypse, Colorado would be ideal. The BC Rockies would offer better protection against a nuclear winter, but Colorado’s closer to warmer climes, where I’d want to be for the rebuilding, once the cataclysm’s over. I can barely imagine travelling all that way on horseback, bicycle or on foot.

    The Doomsday Preppers thingie was more a passing “what if” game. Phoenix is somewhere I’ve actually put some thought into living. I love the Southwest style homes with cactuses in the front yard instead of trees. That stuff looks exotic to me 🙂

    • rootietoot says:

      I would *have* to have a place where I could easily grow food, and where most people avoid (because of the culture here, I guess. The only people who really avoid it are the ones who have never actually lived here). The only time you can’t grow anything here is in August. I’m not so much a Doomsday person as I am, often, a wishing-to-avoid-people person.

  3. xena says:

    Tallahassee area’s not as rural as it was when I was there, then? These things will happen in 20 years.

    You might like the Smokey Mountains. A nice man picked me up hitchhiking back in the day, somewhere outside of Dollywood. He brought me to this cute little house in the middle of nowhere, up the side of one of those pretty hills. He was a Master barbecue chef. Gotta love that southern hospitality. I think he said his nearest neighbour was over a mile away. It was a long drive into the nearest town, Pigeon Forge, tho.

    Gatlinburg was also a quaint little town when I was there. If the surrounding area isn’t all built up by now, you could put up your cozy hermit house on the outskirts, and just go into town when you need to shop. Terry might even be able to set up a business there. The whole town is designed for American History tourists–hatshops, a museum, souvenir shops, cute little trolleys. Terry could build Tooterite furniture 🙂 You wouldn’t have to worry about people getting into your business bc most of the residents are temporary, and the rest are tourists.

    The culture is similar enough, and folks are religious there. You’d probably have no problem finding a nice church.

    • rootietoot says:

      Oh the Smokeys are beautiful, for sure! We rented a cabin in Rabun Gap earlier in the year, and loved it. I grew up in Athens, Ga, and we usually vacationed somewhere along the Blue Ridge Parkway. I am not fond of Tallahassee- it is kind of in a bowl and a bit of an allergy haven- molds,mildew, etc. The mountains are much more appealing! And yes, Terry could make furniture.

  4. xena says:

    I meant that the cultural differences between folks in GA and TN was negligible, from what I could tell. People in rural GA seemed to be a little more concerned with propriety and tradition, while people in TN were just a little flashier. Big hair, fast fiddles and more parties. If I’d gone into Atlanta, I probably wouldn’t have thought the people there were any different from the ones in Knoxville. I found the people in both states charming.

    • rootietoot says:

      Oh yes, very similar cultures. Atlanta is essentially a conglomeration of small towns that share a municipal water system and a few major highways. It would not hurt my feelings a bit to be within easy driving distance. (right now it’s 3-1/2 hours). I think with a few discrete character differences, Southerners are essentially the same.

  5. xena says:

    Hey… we’re typing at the same time. You knew what I meant about the minor differences in culture between GA and TN then.

    I missed allergy season in Tallahasse. I was there in February.

    So the Smokeys might be a plan for you if things get to be too much 🙂

    • rootietoot says:

      Like playing badmitten, it is, Don’t you have anything better to do? I don’t.
      The Smokeys would definitely work. It’s beautiful and the mountain people tend to keep to themselves, and are tolerant of oddballs.

  6. xena says:

    Yes, that’s the little je ne sais pas pourquoi that I couldn’t quite put into words about the mountain people.

    That and the softer, more inviting quality of the land itself. The wilderness up here is almost scary. It’s SO wild it could swallow a person up, and they *might* be found by archaeologists 1000 years later in a chunk of ice.

    The Smokeys feel homey, peaceful. As if even the crickets are singing to say “welcome and take a load off”.

  7. pheenobarbidoll says:

    You watch that American Colony show right?

    Ok, what the fuck is wrong with those people? I mean…I don’t know how to put this delicately but are they ALL mentally challenged??

    • rootietoot says:

      Yes! Ok, I went to the Hutterite web site (for the whole organization, not the show) and on the blog they talk about the show- how NGeo has turned it into a scripted reality show, and how the show is NOT typical, like they chose the most dysfunctional aspects of the colony and are exploiting them. Knowing how NG magazine has become over the years, I am inclined to believe that is what they have done. http://www.hutterite.org
      I seriously believe they come across as a whole lot goofier than they really are. If they are as dumb as they seem on TV, there is no way a colony that size could function and survive.

  8. pheenobarbidoll says:

    Ok good. Because every single person I watched last night looked…mildly Down Syndrome and acted as if they had.. issues. I spent the show feeling bad for them, then annoyed at them for being so slow, then guilty because I was annoyed at the slowness they can’t help. I was seriously annoyed at the old woman who burned her daughters dress, and then she broke down crying so I ended up feeling bad for her.

    Top it off with extreme anger at NGEO for exploiting what appeared to be a colony of highly functioning yet mentally challenged people and you get me posting at 2 am lol

    • rootietoot says:

      I understand the pain that can can come with a child who rebels so egregiously. I know that we don’t see what the young woman did as so bad, but our culture is different from theirs. I felt very sorry for the mother.

  9. pheenobarbidoll says:

    I know, but sexism is sexism regardless of culture. The second her lip trembled though I was brokenhearted for her. Burning that dress….if she thought her daughter was rebelling then, she’s just signed her death warrant for it now. I can’t think of a better way to antagonize an already rebellious teen. Worst possible move, ever.

    I have no plans on watching it again though because honestly I have zero patience for the slow wittedness being shown. It gives me physical anxiety.

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