You know what’s great about living in The Deep South (we’re about 45 miles due west of Savannah)?
Winter, that’s what.

3 days ago it got down to 19 degrees. I put the potted orange trees in the tool shed with a light to keep them warm.
Everyone put an extra blanket on their beds, I turned the thermostat down to 65F to keep from spending an extra $zillion on the power bill.
We wore socks and fleecy pullovers.
We ate chili and rice, drank hot chocolate, and made lots of noise about how cold it was.

Today? 3 days later? It’s 74F. I put the top down on the car after church.
We’re drinking iced tea and the windows are all open.
We’re wearing t-shirts and taking walks outside.
I saw frogs in the ditch water.

People are complaining about how warm it is….I’m like…ARE YOU SERIOUS??
This is WHY I LIVE HERE! The weather around here is fabulous 9 months out of the year. It’s warm enough to wear long sleeved t-shirts with snowflakes on them for Christmas, because buying a cheesy holiday sweater is pointless, as it’s rarely cool enough to wear one.
We have MAYBE 2 weeks of really cold (yes, my friend in North Dakota, I know not of what I speak) that requires preparation of clam chowder and wearing of thick socks…I own 1 pair of thick socks and 2 fleecy pullovers.

The other 3 months of the year it’s blazingly hot with temperatures approaching or exceeding 100F and humidity >90%. It’s why God invented air conditioning and shopping malls and Sonic Slushes.

But for 9 months, it’s pure heaven. Only not really.

Honestly it’s a terrible place to live. Don’t move here. Really. Terrible. Housing prices are incredible unreal. It’s Georgia. Remember that movie from the 1970’s…Deliverance? That happened in North Georgia. Do you want to live in a state where that happens. Of course not. Then there’s Atlanta, that scary city where you can get the best Thai food outside of New York City Cynthia McKinney presides. And it has I-285 with Ladders. (that’s the Perimeter, and it’s famous for ladders falling off handyman trucks and creating a hazard. it’s also a bit like driving a really huge NASCAR track…)

Which brings me to another point. The entertainment in the Deep South is fabulous questionable. You can watch cars hurl themselves around dirt tracks in nearly every town. If they’re not trying to drive fast in circles, they’re deliberately trying to crash into each other, or trying to see who can reach the end of the local landing strip first without blowing themselves up. Or they’re shooting harmless woodland creatures and eating them. You’ll NEVER get a straight answer out of ANYONE about what goes into their special recipe Brunswick Stew…so don’t ask, just enjoy because it’s delicious.

Which brings me to another point. Culinarily speaking, the Deep South is painfully simple. Pork, legumes, greenery, butter. That’s about it. The pork can be cooked, sauced, baked, smoked or boiled with the legumes (field peas, butter beans, lima beans, crowder peas, black eyed peas, peanuts) and the greens (turnips, mustards, collards, cabbage) and that is it. That’s the extent of Southern Culinary Culture.
Who wants that? To die of pork overload? So don’t come here.

See, even with the splendid weather (we say “if you don’t like the weather, give it a day or two, it will change”), the Deep South is a fantastic TERRIBLE place to live!


About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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4 Responses to

  1. jerseechik says:

    And the people are amazingly kind, polite, and friendly, and the dress is casual. It’s like a constant vacation.

    Except for the fire ants. Thankfully, no one will read this comment and be tempted to come down here.

  2. Haha – Really Cold? I’ve worn a jacket once this season and fish houses are falling through the ice on the lakes. Warm here. Winter survival kit should have sunscreen in it this year.

  3. Bella Rum says:

    I do love butter beans and pig, and I don’t care how it’s served. I’ve never eaten a pork dish I didn’t like, but I never tried pig’s feet. Couldn’t get over the way they looked in the jar sitting on our kitchen counter when I was a kid. My mother loved them.

    So glad you’re enjoying your weather. We’ve had the windows open here a few days, too. Nice.

    • rootietoot says:

      Pigs feet are all cartilege (however you spell that) and connective tissue. The pickled ones taste like whatever they’re pickled in. I think they’re more effort than they’re worth.

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