Staring down the tunnel toward Christmas

There sure is a lot of build-up for Christmas, isn’t there? Months of planning (or not, maybe weeks, or I hear some people actually wait until Christmas Even then go “OH NO IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE!” and then run in a panic to the nearest Walmart to purchase a ready made gift basket of Mango scented soap and lotion for their Significant Other who’s tastes run toward Chanel no5) and it all comes down to this maybe 2 hours (less at our house, as people are very efficient when it comes to Christmas) of OH WOW! I always wanted this (mango scented soap)…

actually around here it’s not really like that. I give Terry and the boys all sorts of credit for following the rules I established 25 years ago: no fruit scented soaps and No Gifts That Require Power Cords. That means no appliances.

Anyway, I do not particularly subscribe to the Jesus Is The Reason For The Season thing either. I mean, yes, it’s when the Western Christian Church has chosen to celebrate His birth, but really, people. It’s when the missionaries said to the European Pagans that they were not allowed to celebrate yule or any other midwinter party and the Pagans told them to go f**k themselves so the Missionaries said “Well ok but we’re going to make it Jesus’s Birthday, in order to give it credibility.” The whole tree/holly/shrubbery-in-the-house thing is pagan in origin, I reckon,because I read and read and read all through the Gospel’s accounts of Jesus’s birth and found no sort of reference to pine trees in the living room.

However, I have one. Also greenery kind of around. And poinsettias,which also aren’t mentioned anywhere and also are semitropical and in nature, bloom in the summer. But they’re pretty so that’s ok. There’s also snowflakes,of the manmade sort, and snowflakes were not mentioned in the Gospels either. in fact, all accounts point to Jesus’s birth being sometime in the Spring, what with flocks in the fields by night and that whole census thing, because the Romans were actually pretty well organized and knew that the best time for people to travel would be Spring, not Winter.

But who cares about logic! It’s Christmas! And I am going to do it My Way!

You see, right before Thanksgiving, the day before The Outlaws inlaws were due to arrive, I was all stressed out and barking and being a real bitc…er…hardas….er…I was being Not Very Pleasant about the state of the house not being perfect and nervous about MotherOutLaw and the possibility of criticism and stuff,and my son, my easy going and perpetually mellow eldest,said to me “Mom. You’re supposed to enjoy holidays. Letting them stress you like this defeats the purpose of having one.”
That set me back on my heels and I replied “You are absolutely right.” So, in the interest of enjoying them and not stressing about my sweetly critical mother being critical, I’ve Made Arrangements.

In the form of a hotel room for them for the 3 days they’re going to be here. Then she can’t complain about the bed (which is the same size as hers at home) being too small, or the suspicious stain on the bathroom floor. And Cheeseballs. and a HoneyBaked Ham with ready made sides. (which I need to go get today. Thank you Ken, for the gift certificate!)
Because I am NOT going to get worked up this time. Who am I trying to impress, anyway? My parents, the Unimpressable?

No. I reject stress. I actively shove it out the door with a can of stale danish cookies and say “thanks but no, I am not interested.” In it’s place, I have a gallon jug of apple cider that will go into the crock pot with some whole cloves, a cinnamon stick, and cardamom seeds. A box of crackers and a can of nuts, and if anyone wants anything else to eat, they can have leftover ham on a roll, or pay for all of us to eat Chinese.

because dammit, that’s how I roll these days.


About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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2 Responses to Staring down the tunnel toward Christmas

  1. Nichole says:

    I love the hotel idea. Happy relaxed holidays to you!

  2. Elizabeth says:

    We do get wise as we grow or thank you smart children. One or the other, both work for me.

    Do enjoy. That’s what I’m going for around the Christmas table.

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