So,I went to the doctor Wednesday,my nephrologist The Good Dr. Courage. I knew I’d put a bit of weight back on but seeing the concrete evidence on his fancypants electronic scale was…a little disheartening. Yes, I know my fondness for deep fried everything is naughty. I also know we’re coming up on Christmas Season and I do Much Baking With Butter and things need to be tasted before I send them off in packages to friends and relatives.
201.4 pounds,people. I passed that Magical Number of 200. Somehow, I felt that as long as I remained below that I was somehow…y’know…NOT 200 pounds. Not only that, my cholesterol was HIGH…”alarmingly high” was how he put it. I took consolation tho, because he said it was the genetics that made it high, not the diet (fried potatoes notwithstanding, because as much as I love the fried foods,I do not eat them every day or even every week). “Lipitor” he said. “No” said the insurance company.” “What the heck?” I said to the insurance company.
I mean, wouldn’t it be cheaper to shell out $100 to the pharmaceutical companies than pay the $100,000 for open heart surgery bypass or whatever? I don’t understand how insurance companies think.
So anyway, I Need A Plan. Last time I lost a fair amount of weight, it was right after The Good Dr. Courage told me my kidneys were fried and I had to eliminate sodium and potassium from the diet, and that translated into “you can only eat white rice and cabbage” which totally made me lose 20 pounds. That felt good, those 20 pounds,because I went from a size that was unacceptable to one that was almost small enough to buy clothes from the JPeterman catalog. In fact, I had a dress picked out as a reward for reaching a Goal Size. Which I didn’t reach and now it’s even further away thanks to the lifting of the potassium ban. You see,potatoes are very high in potassium. I love potatoes. Especially fried ones.
Dieting in Winter is difficult. The cold weather makes a body want chowders (cream and potatoes) and stews (meat and potatoes) and creamy casseroles and all sorts of stuff that is filling and warm. I have tried the Low Fat! Healthy! versions of recipes, using skim milk instead of cream (what?) and olive oil(A GOOD FAT) instead of butter (BAD) and they are…well…
nasty unsatisfactory. Thanks for trying Elie Kreiger, but no. Paula Deen cooking is more my style (even if real Southerners DON’T say y’all every third word)
So what’s a woman to do? Carrots? Apples? Please don’t tell me how wonderful a plain baked spaghetti squash with fat free meatless tomato sauce is…or tell me your sister’s recipe for crustless nonfat no sugar cheesecake. I’d rather go hungry.
And I’d rather whine. I will, soon enough,come up with a plan. It may involve a gym,it might even involve a dietician at the doctor’s office. The fact is, I KNOW THE STUFF…I just don’t LIKE the stuff.
There’s that thing people say. “Lose weight and you’ll live longer” to which I reply “yes, but why would you want to?”