Children, that is. When they’re little, you can’t really call them practical or useful, not *really*, except for entertainment value or personal affirmation. I mean, what makes you feel better about yourself than some small person squealing and holding their arms out to you? But for Real Use, a toddler isn’t much good at emptying the dishwasher or helping you decide which shoes to wear with your new dress. They’ll always go for the red ones.
However, when they get older, the Personal Affirmation part kind of goes by the wayside. I mean, what makes you feel more stupid than some tall person groaning and rolling their eyes at your choice of shoes (red? are you serious?) or obvious ignorance about how to download an mp3 files? what the heck is an mp3 file anyway? Is it like a nailfile? or a 45 record?
However, they do eventually outgrow the groans and eye rolling, once they figure out that *you’re* the one who determines the quality of their food and holds the purse strings. Once you become their sole source of income (Mom,do you have any jobs I can do for the price of a pack of cigarettes? Why yes, I do. If you’ll do this job that a normal person would do for $50, I’ll pay you enough to buy a pack of cigarettes. Such is the pull of addiction, folks,) they soon figure out that it is best to not roll their eyes.
I have an adult child living at home. He’s in college, but still has a good bit of free time on his hand. He is also quite skilled with computer related stuff. Now that I have this fancypants sewing machine, that is supposed to be able to intferace with my computer, I need his skills. And he needs my good graces. Sometime, maybe today or maybe this weekend, he and I are going to sit down and figure out how to make the machine and my computer talk to each other. I found a forum that supposedly explains all this stuff, but it’s kind of over my head. So in exchange for his expertise, I am going to help him figure out how to interpret female body language so he can get a date.