Phleud (pronounced ‘Floyd’ or ‘Fluud’ or occasionally ‘Floodles’ rhymes with ‘toodles’) and Gracie (named for Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane due to the range and volume of her voice) are our 2 Applehead Siamese cats. He is 3 years old and she is 2.
Ok yeah, they’re fun and usually somewhat affectionate. But they’re shifty, sneaky brats who deliberately do things that they KNOW irritate me. Like get on the kitchen counter.
I’m picky about the kitchen. I like it clean. The rest of the house can go to hell, for all I care, but the kitchen is important. I hear them shuffling around in there. I am convinced they’re on the counter, helping themselves to Terry’s pound cake or chewing a hole in a bag of cheetoes. However, when I hear them making quiet sounds I’ll go look and they’ll be on the floor, all “what? I’m on the floor.” Never mind there’s cheeto powder pawprints all around the sink.
I KNOW they’re UP on places like the counter or the dining table, because I’ll hear “plop”, the distinctive sound of 4 paws hitting a laminate floor, but if I give them a hairy eyeball about it, they’re all “what?”
Sometimes they pace, and that makes me nervous too. For an hour, around and around, the circuit through the kitchen, office, living room, dining room and back through again. I can hear their claws tapping on the floor. I can hear one of them yowling, like a cop directing traffic only no whistle (thank God, they don’t have whistles).
It’s really easy to tell them apart from another room. Phleud has a baritone yowl that he swallows at the end, like a Canadian newscaster. Gracie is a nasal mezzo-soprano, a reject from a Chinese opera. Phleud only speaks when he has something important to say, such as “YOOOOOOWLUH” or “murf”. He also mumbles. Gracie is more loquacious, commenting on everything from the state of the tuna industry to the disappointing lack of available laps. She is very much a lap kitty. Phleud will only show affection on rare occasions. Gracie also has a deep curiosity for dog noses. If a dog is asleep, she will creep up and very carefully *patpat* the dog’s nose. Particularly Daisy’s. Which annoys Daisy and causes her to snap, but Gracie remains undeterred and enchanted by Daisy’s nose.
About 3 months ago I heard a pair of great horned owls in the woods across the street. This made me nervous for the cats’ safety, and I decided to force them to be inside-only pets. They are not really happy about this, and will attempt to sneak out when the door is being held for the dogs. We have a pet door, but it allowed the cats to come and go as well as the dogs, so it stays closed unless we are gone for a few days. In that case the cats are locked in the game room with their litterbox, food and water (and a pool table to roll around and shed on, as well as 2 sofas and a bunch of shelves, so seriously, it’s not a hardship for them. I don’t care what they say about it). They have adapted well to the indoors, and on the few occasions that they’ve been able to sneak outside, they became nervous and came right back in about 10 minutes later.
As with all cats possessing a deep sense of…whatever it is it’s called, they are drawn to dark clothing,particularly Gracie, who is mostly cream colored. She will ignore Terry unless he’s wearing black pants. If I am sewing and have a piece of cloth that is dark, it becomes the Best Bed In The World and she’ll relentlessly try to lay on it.
And to think people say animals have no personality.