Well, I never!

Most of the time (let’s call it 95%) I am perfectly content with being a small-town housewife with a Not Very Exciting life. A while back I compared myself to the eye of the hurricane, with everyone else in my life doing extraordinary and remarkable things, getting published in this, blowing up that, going places, making names for themselves. Most of the time (let’s call it 95%) I am perfectly content to sit in my chair with a glass of iced tea, and watch the parade go by. I like parades and being essentially lazy and highly dependent on routine, letting others make the hoopla is just fine.

However (you saw this coming, right?) 5% of the time I wish for a bit of hoopla. I see a very talented friend get written up in several (not just one!) magazines and think “if I got up out of my chair and put down the iced tea, I could do that, and she’d help me!” I see a family member decide to go to Europe for a few weeks, and she does. Just like that. I can’t do that. It takes me a couple of months to decide to go to the next state, never mind another country!

So this morning, as I was ambling through the grocery store doing my twice-a-month-usually-Wednesday-but-sometimes-Thursday grocery shopping, I started pondering the exciting things I’ve never done, and why, and would I consider it if the circumstances were right. Here they are, in customary Rootietoot Very Organized form

1.recreational drugs: I’ve plenty of prescription ones, and no. I tried pot twice in college and was unimpressed, and never had the money for anything else. At this point I can get plenty of recreational mind altering through legal means so I see no need to try illegal ones.

2.Skydiving/bungee jumping: a mild fear of heights and not understanding the logic of intentionally hurling yourself out of a perfectly functional airplane or off a bridge prevents me from trying it. I love a roller coaster though. However, I have to watch it go a few times first to make sure no one dies or throws up on it. Only then will I ride it.

3.Picked up a man at a bar: Puh-leeeze.

4. Worn a formal dress/been to a black tie affair. Even my wedding dress was tea length and made of cotton. It’s simply never come up. I never went to Prom in high school or any sort of formal dance thing in college. Terry’s always worked in the textile industry, and any sort of event that might happen tends to involve barbeque or a white elephant gift exchange.

5.Been to a country where they don’t speak English: not out of timidity or anything like that, it just hasn’t ever come up. I wouldn’t have any objections to traveling, as long as the jet lag didn’t kick my butt, so I suppose China or Australia would be problematic. I’d want to go someplace long enough to really enjoy it. A canned tour doesn’t sound appealing. I’d REALLY want to go with a friend who spoke the language and knew the culture.

What really sounds exciting, what would get the juices flowing and rings bells and stuff, is relating to people. I can’t wait to have grandchildren to play with! I hear from friends who have grandchildren that the relationship is so different from the ones you have with your children, but you’re crazy in love with them and can’t wait to see them. One of my sons told me he wants us to have a good close relationship with his kids (he needs to get married first and have some) and hopes we’ll have a close hand in helping raise them. I am excited about that. I am also excited about the prospect of Terry’s retirement (even though that’s a good 20+ years away), and what I’ll do with him if he’s home all day. (Keep him stocked in wood, and require him to spend at least 4 hours a day in his shop). I reckon I’m simply not one of those people who needs constant high energy stimulation. I can’t even go to a movie in the evening, because it takes a few hours to come down off the NOISE AND VISUAL bombardment.

It’s ok tho. I don’t envy people who throw themselves out of airplanes, and I am content to let Anthony Bourdain visit the Amazon then complain about it later. Guys on TV can tell me how delicious sauteed cobra hearts taste, and I’ll just take their word for it and munch on my english muffin. I don’t need excitment beyond discovering a new recipe or two, or maybe a pretty spot in the woods. I like peace and tranquility, and will leave the excitement to the people who need it.


About rootietoot

I do what I can.
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4 Responses to Well, I never!

  1. Well, I’ve done some of the things on your list, and am I glad for the experiences, but I’d never skydive or bungee jump. Those rides that launch you straight UP real fast are bad enough for me.

  2. Bella Rum says:

    I completely identify with this post. I’m surrounded by adventurers in my family. I enjoy observing, but, like you, I don’t need all that much stimulation. I’m comfortable with routine. As for those grandkids… you’re gonna love ’em!

    • rootietoot says:

      My idea of a Really Good Time would be to go to some sort of other-culture big celebration, like an Indian wedding or a Chinese New Year, and sit off to the side with my camera and notebook.

  3. Nichole says:

    I’ve done #5, but nothing else. I’m right there with you on the no-hoopla park bench. I was going to say “train,” but we all know there’s hoopla on trains.

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