It’s all about compromise, isn’t it, this married life. Give and take, occasionally push and pull, with the odd SHOVE now and then. I had to give up the trip to Kentucky that was all planned out. I thought initially I was ok with that, because there was some Really Big Things happening with Terry’s work, that really did require him to be there.
But it turns out that I wasn’t as ok with it as I thought, and a few temper tantrums resulted, with an accusation or two being thrown around. “IT’S NOT FAIR!” I said (cried, shouted, hurled out),as well as a few other choice words. I’m still not happy with it, but you know…sometimes life isn’t fair. That’s just a natural fact. The sooner i remember that and get over my temper tantrum, the better for all of us.
I mean, it’s not like he PLANNED it, it’s not as if he thought to himself “Let’s get Peggy to plan a trip and then make her cancel it.” I know that…
And so, this Sunday, July 3, when we would have been driving north toward central Kentucky after spending a night in north Alabama, we’re…well…hm.
He and I spent a bit of the morning in his new office, getting it set up. I filed things as he handed me piles with instructions on how to file. Then we went to brunch at Cracker Barrel (mmm hashbrown casserole). Then he figured out why the outlets in the game room weren’t working while I went into the attic to look for something (didn’t find it). He offered to take us to the beach, but I declined, it being the weekend that it is, the beach will be crowded and I am self concious about wearing a swimsuit while being around a lot of people. Tho it would be a good day for it, as it’s not as hot as it’s been. but no.
So, tomorrow, when we would have been touring The Shaker Village at Pleasant Hill, and staying in their inn and eating authentic Shaker recipes of fried chicken and lemon pie, we’re going to go out to Terry’s work, into the woods behind the plant, and finally figure out how to shoot that new .44 handgun. Which is about as opposite an activity from touring the grounds of a pacifist religious sect as it gets (well, unless we have sex at the same time, because Shakers didn’t believe in sex, but we won’t because I don’t want to get ticks in Personal Regions.) I’ve been wanting to shoot that pistol anyway.
This morning I woke up about 5am, as I tend to do, and laid there for a while thinking about my really bad attitude about all the plan changing. I really have been unhappy about it, and doing my very best to make sure everyone around me was aware of that. I have all sorts of excuses for being upset. Which I won’t list…but they involve things like 25th anniversary and lots of tension over the past year that require a vacation to escape, that sort of thing. As I laid there I asked for God to forgive my selfishness. I really have been petty, I guess…well, *I* don’t think I’ve been petty…but I have.
Things don’t always work out. Plans have to be changed. That’s life, and you’d think after 46 years I’d realize that and be more flexible. So, instead of going to Kentucky for 9 days with Terry, I’m going to spend a couple of days with a friend near Atlanta and her kids. I’m going to chill out here at home, maybe do slightly less than normal, maybe cook a little differently, try a couple of new recipes out. Drink jasmine iced tea instead of Luzianne black tea. Do my toenails. take it as it comes.