because I don’t really have the attention span right now to pick a topic and stay with it, but there is an internally produced obligation to WRITE SOMETHING.
*Still no vacation. Work is Too Important right now. Bitter much, Peggy? Yah you betcha. But I’ll get over it, because it’s what I do. I may take myself to the beach for a day, pack a cooler with a jug of iced tea and a sandwich, throw it, a towel and that low folding beach chair in the back of my car, and go to the beach. I’ll call it a Mental Health Day. Right now I am kind of needing one of those.
*The lawnmower isn’t working and I am considering having my front yard reclassified as a D.O.T. Meadowland. If I threw some wildlfower seeds in there for color, it could pass. However, it’s not really the look that golf course communities prefer. I suppose I could get out there with a pair of scissors and cut it. I supose I could aysomeone to do it, but the idea of paying someone to do something I should be able to do myself does not make me happy.
*Everyone currently living in the house is employed. Except me, I *do* have a job, just not a paying one. I’ve thought about looking for work somewhere, but unemployment is running about 20% around here, and since I don’t NEED a job, the idea that I would be keeping someone who really needs one from getting one is disturbing.
*What I really want to do is write a bunch of tersely worded letters to various people who are pissing me off. I won’t, but that doesn’t stop me from composing them mentally. What I really REALLY want to do is get in the car and drive away for a few days, see some mountains, eat some food, sleep a different place every night for a week.
I am not happy right now. Circumstances beyone either of our control took away something I was looking forward to far more than I realized. It has me back to that old way of thinking, that says it’s better to not look forward to anything, to say that eager anticipation is the finest and most direct route to disappointment. It’s better to expect nothing, because that’s what you’ll get.