I did something today I’d never done before, or ever even thought I’d do. It just wasn’t on my radar or bucket list or anything remotely important. however, I had time. My car needed some work done before we went on this trip, and it was going to take most of the day, and the service place is an hour and 15 minutes away SOOO…I dropped off the car and had their nice guy drive me to a mall.
Understand that I generally hate malls. My idea of shopping is very hunter-like. I think “I want a white shirt that buttons up, has no pockets, ruffles or fancy shit” then I go find one in 15 minutes, buy it and leave. I couldn’t do that today. Today I had about 6 hours to kill, in a mall. So I pretended to be Loaner Girl and investigated every store that carried my size, scrutinizing the items that caught my attention, revisted a few outfits, pondered shoes to match, looked at hats, purses and scarves. As I was in Dillards looking at underthings, frustrating myself with their lack of cotton bras, a perky young woman with a tape measure around her neck asked if I’d ever been properly and professionally fitted for a bra.
“What size do you think you wear?” she asked.
“um…40B” I answered.
She looked at me and said “is that comfortable?”
“C’mon” she said, “let’s figure out what size you really wear.”
I thought to myself…I have tons of time, what the heck.
So we went back into a private room and she had me take off my shirt and bra and commenced to measuring 90-11 different ways and then announced
“no wonder you weren’t comfortable. You should wear a 38D”
“the heck you say!” I was sceptical. a D? The heck you say.
So she disappeared for a minute and came back with the world’s second most expensive bra and said “put this on” and I was looking at the boulder-sized cups thinking “no way”, and she fastened in the back and said “ok shift the girls around a bit…”
and hoeeleee crow. Not only did it fit, but that underwire bra (which I’d always avoided like a bobwire fence)was…COMFORTABLE. The ladies were, dare I say it after 4 children…PERKY. My shirt fit better and the underwire was…well…COMFORTABLE.
So we discussed styles, I asked about cotton, maybe sports bra type things since I’m outside alot and tend to sweat but didn’t care for the typical sports bra UniBoob look, and she disappeared again and came back with The World’s Second Most Expensive Sports Bra and i put it on and…good lord that thing is comfortable.
Yes, that’s right. I said Is. I had intended to use this bit of money to buy a new outfit for our trip. Perhaps a skirt and top, something easily packable. Maybe some shoes to go with. Instead I bought an undergarment that no one will ever see, but is so incredibly comfortable that they’ll notice my smile and think I must have gotten a boob job because damn, they’re perky.