Memories, in the compost heap of my mind

I remember when I could eat whatever I wanted, however much I wanted, whenever I wanted. I remember when going to bed meant taking off my clothes and falling into the sheets, then asleep 5 minutes later. I remember having no idea what heartburn was, or twitchy legs, or headaches. I’d heard of them ,but figured those were old people’s problems.

I remember being able to stay up until 2am. I remember sleeping until noon.

Now? It’s all about the dietary restrictions. Too much salt means getting up to pee 4 times during the night. No more potato chips+Mexican food. Anything with tomatoes in it is sure to cause heartburn, make it impossible to get to sleep, and cause midnight irritation. No more spaghetti for supper. Or salsa with (salty) chips.

Now getting to sleep requires a 2 hour ritual of water, pills (did I remember to take an antihistamine so I won’t clog up? Did I take my brain meds?), reading a boring book for an hour, meditation, and even then it has to start at 8 so I can be asleep by 10 because I *will* wake up at 6am, regardless of when I got to sleep or how many times I had to get up to pee. It’s all a question of will it be a cheerful 6am or a grumpy and fuzzy-headed 6am. Once the sun is up this body will NOT go back to sleep, no matter how awful the night was.

I remember when I would get hungry and be able to scarf down 6 tacos and a quart of Coke. Or an entire bag of salt and pepper potato chips. Or a large theater popcorn, get a refill, and another one…with a 66 oz Coke and ice. All while watching Arnold Schwarzenegger flex his muscles and shoot a minigun one handed.

Now? That’s far too exciting. Now it’s Colin Firth looking perplexed and half a bag of peanut M&Ms with the leftovers tucked into my purse for a later date.

I miss theater popcorn.


About rootietoot

I do what I can.
This entry was posted in *whinge*, Dewicate feewings, say it isn't so!. Bookmark the permalink.

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