When 5am rolled around and I was hit with the standard “it’s 5am and I gotta pee” alarm, as I was staggering in the dark to the bathroom, the doorway shifted over 3 inches to the right from where it normally was and I smacked the ever living HELL out of my left little toe. You know, the little piggy that goes WEEWEEWEE all the way home? There was a whole lot more creative invective than WEEWEEWEE, I tell you what. I said things I didn’t even know I knew.
Then by 8, after #4 was at school and I’d returned home, the toe was talking all on it’s own, and holding it’s breath until it turned blue.
“well crap” I thought. Then I decided it ignore it until the dining room was finished up with the painting. There was just a bit of trim and touchup work to be done and I desperately wanted to finish it up TODAY.
Have you ever noticed when some insignificant body part is having an issue, it grows to the size of your father’s ’78 Buick and proceeds to smack itself against every vertical surface within a 300 yard radius? DO you know how hard it is to climb a step stool when you have a Buick on your foot?
Well, the trim got painted and then I had to stop. Inspection of the toe revealed that it was turning pretty colors and I decided perhaps it was broken.
Did I call the doctor? No. He would say “Hum. It appears to be broken, but let’s Xray it to be sure…
I have a boat payment because you can’t be too safe about this. Tape it to the next toe and stay off of it for a couple of days. You’ll have to put aside the Christopher Louboutin shoes for a couple of weeks. You might want to wear flipflops for a couple of weeks.”
See there, I just saved myself $60 on a Dr. visit and prescription for pain meds. There’s some left over from the last orthopedic incident. I’ll just take one of them tonight.
Terry called at one point and asked if I was icing it. “It’s not a cake.” I thought. Then I said “um no..because I didn’t think of that.” So since then I’ve been propped on the couch, shouting orders to the staff and making unreasonable demands for sympathy and Cheetoes.
And my toe is yelping too.