I don’t have much of a memory. Rather than a long timeline, everything neat and sequential, I tend to remember blips, impressions, and emotions. Sometimes something will set off a flurry of memories, and sometimes I’ll be doing nothing special and *plop* one drops right in, causing some sort of emotional response and I have to stop the nothing special I was doing, and allow the response to happen. Sometimes it’s like walking into a ray of sunshine through a window, and I simply must stop and rest in it.
I was mopping the floor…not really anything special except that it’s not something I do as often as the housekeeping books I inhereted from my grandmother say I should, and as I was mopping I began thinking about the past 25 years…Terry and I have been together that long plus a few months. Recently he told me he’d actually been kind of crazy in love with me for 6 months before we ever got involved, and then the other day he said if he’d known me in high school he’d probably been just as nuts about me. Given that we met when I was 20 and just as cynical and sarcastic as I’d been in high school, I have to believe him on that.
So I started thinking, and there’s blips and sparks and nuggets of memories I like to pull out and flip through like an old album. 25 years seems like such a long time when you’re a kid, but in retrospect it went by so fast. 46 and 47 used to seem so old, but when you’re the one living it, it doesn’t seem that way at all.
Walking down Magnolia Street, sharing this really long scarf with him, because it was cold.
In the kitchen, putting flour handprints on his backside and REALLY making his fiance angry (ok that was fun. I can’t deny it.)
Honeymooning in late July, in a house with no airconditioner, on a quiet lake
Wandering through the woods behind our rental house, looking for fatlighter to make into bundles as Christmas gifts for family
3 babies in 4 years. What were we thinking?
Working in the office of his cabinet shop. I really enjoyed being in the same place he was in, helping with his business, being useful.
camping at Grayton Beach, a huge canvas tent, flying kites, making pancakes
Fixing up a house, one thing after another, and making it OURS
That silly cheap swimming pool, to cool off in after a hot day in the mill, with small boys like wet otters
Moving on, moving up, football games, grilling outside, another fabulous kitchen, another baby
and all the time, he shows up with a rose bush, knowing how much I love roses of all sorts.
and sure, there were bad times. Some of them were circumstances we couldn’t control, some of them were…how to say this…self inflicted. I hate the bad times, and don’t like to think on them, but they are what they are, and are the test of a real relationship. What kind of marriage is it if one person says to the other one “you’re too much trouble and I’m tired of you” or the other one says “this is too much work”. That’s what it all boils down to, isn’t it. The WORK of a relationship. God knows it’s alot of work. but y’know, it’s worth it. I am incredibly thankful he hasn’t chucked it all because it got uncomfortable or stressful. I am thankful I haven’t either. 25 years worth of partnership in all the blood sweat and tears of LIFE has been…kinda….wonderful. I am sure the next 25 years will have it’s fair share of excitement, but having carried on together this long, I reckon we’ll make it.