I love it when I get to see my kids. Now that they (with the exception of #4 who’s 11) are grown and moved out, the only time I see them is when they want to see me, which always makes for a happy time. So now, when one (or all) of them is here, it’s because they want to be and it’s filled with good cheer and happy times.
Yesterday Will came over with his roommate Anthony, to fetch a desk I’d promised him. Not only that, he removed the desk from #4’s room, and replaced it with a different desk I’d purchased (from the Habitat ReStore for a mere $20, a gorgeous solid oak mid-century modern thing that looked like it came off the set of Mad Men), carrying the old one down a flight of stairs and the new one up. In exchange for all that (as well as the old desk) I gave him a bag full of food from the freezer (corn dogs, chili, barbeque, beef stew) a tablecloth, and a dozen white napkins. I also taught the two of them fancy napkin folding in the event they decided to hold a formal dinner party. It could happen, Will isn’t the typical slob 22 yr old. He has Standards and has always loved a well-set dinner table. When he was a tween, he’d come home from school and fix himself a snack, a bowl of soup perhaps, and set the table with a placemat, folded napkin in a ring, a flower in a vase and a goblet of water. All for a snack. So, he was thrilled with the aquisition of a white tablecloth and a dozen napkins.
Today I am going to Savannah to get my stupid car fixed again. The service place got all the stuff fixed last week, but left something loose in the dashboard so now on a rough road or going over a bump there’s this huge rattle. CJ said he wanted to go with, and promised to set his alarm for 8:30 this morning so I could get him at 9, however, I am not holding my breath. Yes, I’d love for him to come along, but as for him getting up and being ready at 9…I am dubious. He has roommate complaints and called yesterday asking advice. Apparently the roommates are so nasty there’s actually flies and maggots in the sink and refrigerator. Plus the whole apartment stinks horribly. I suggested he go to the manager and request a transfer to another apartment. He said there’s one with 2 girls that said they’d like to have him but I am strongly discouraging him from that. Not just the whole temptation thing(tho I am not taking that route, because it would only serve to make him want to do it more), but rooming with 2 women when you are a man would be awkward…”tampons! hair in the sink! PMS twice a month! Son, it’s hard enough when you have an emotional investment in the person, but with 2 people you don’t even know that well it will be 10 times the trouble” He may have been telling me that in an attempt to shock me. He does that, and it fails every time. However, he needs to get into a different apartment. What he’s in now isn’t safe.
Anyway, this whole business of kids growing up and moving out is quite awesome. Not being in each other’s hair all the time, getting on each other’s nerves…it makes for a much better relationship. It’s more of an adult sort of thing. I am able to let go of them and allow them the freedom to do what they will, to not nag or constantly comment when I see something I disapprove of. It feels wonderful. And, when they have an issue, they call and ask advice, and because I am not all over them all the time, I can give it in a more impartial sort of way. It’s like…they’re adults now. I can treat them like adults and they are better able to act like one. Life is good.