I woke up this morning about 6:30, refreshed from a really good night’s sleep (happening! Woop!) but with Unfortunate Cramps. You know, the female kind that have one looking toward menopause with a certain hopefullness. Anyway, I hopped out of bed (check it! I HOPPED out of bed!) and kind of even cheerfully (wot??) trotted into the bathroom, because I am still, even 19 years later, made happy by the notion of Lady Moon Hut Issues because it means I’m not pregnant. I tossed down a couple of Aleve with a gulp of (deliciously cold) water and turned to put on my robe and WOT?? WAITAMINIT….those little blue pills….(looked at the bottle) were NOT Aleve. Ok so they weren’t Viagra either (don’t need such around here) but they weren’t Aleve…well ok so they weren’t generic store brand substitute for Aleve either…they were…(you have my permission to laugh) generic store brand…Tylenol PM. Yes. Sleeping pills. At 6:30 in the AM.
Well SHIT. I said.
Terry goes “what’s wrong?”
I just took 2 tylenol PM. I said.
“Well so much for going to church, then.” He mumbled. He was still in bed, and would be going to work.
“Maybe I can make myself throw up.” I pondered out loud, then proceeded back into the bathroom and commenced to sticking fingers and even the handle of a hairbrush down my throat. Nope. No throwing up.
Ok then, I thought. Coffee. I’ll drink coffee all day and that will help me stay awake. Terry kissed me on the cheek and headed to work. I sat in my chair drinking coffee, waiting for the PM part to start working. It did, about 8:30.
So I decided to go back to bed and sleep it off. I left a note on the computer for #4 to not wake me up, please, and went up to bed. After crawling under the covers (so warm! so comfy!) I laid there getting more and more relaxed and this voice in my head said
YOU ARE A HEATHEN. TAKE YOUR CHILD TO CHURCH.
Ok, I will. So at 9:15 I took a shower, hot as I could stand, and woke up #4. He jumped in the shower and dressed, and by 9:40 we were on our way. I carried a big ol’ travel mug with, and filled it full at the coffee station in the church. Sipping on it kept me from falling out of my chair and drooling during Sunday School (tho I did have a strange fixation with the little piece of pinestraw stuck to Marilyn’s sweater in front of me), and also during church where I kept erratic notes on the sermon…I’ll have to refer back to them and see if they were as incoherent as I fear…and I have no idea what the sermon was about except that it involved a blind man, mud, and Pharisees.
When we got home (how, I am not sure except that I reckon I was the one driving. Fortunately the sermon went long so the Sunday Noon Traffic jam was over by then) more coffee was made, #4 was instructed to not do anything illegal or immoral, and I tried to nap. Did not succeed. Now that it’s nearly 4 I think the stuff has about worn off.
From now on I think I’ll keep the Tylenol PM on the opposite side of the room from the Aleve.