How do you cope? What do you do when something is weighing heavy on you and your first impulse is to ignore it and hope it will go away, even though you know it won’t?
I don’t like talking about things. It’s uncomfortable. Even when I know it needs talking about, I’d much rather pack it back up and ignore it for a while longer. However, logic tells me that’s not really the way to handle it. However, upbringing tells me it is. However, Logic says no. However, feelings say “where’s the duct tape?” So, once I run out of duct tape, and the box starts to fall apart, I will give in to logic and stop ignoring it.
Have you ever stuck a piece of duct tape to your skin, then ripped it off? That’s what it feels like, to finally give in to logic and deal with things. Like, you know it’s the best thing to do, duct tape is ugly and people start to notice that Not All Is Right, but it leaves behind this raw sort of sensation, all prickly and kind of uncomfortable, even when you know it was the right thing to do.
So then I talk about things, get it all out there (ok, most of it) and walk around with these Dewicate Feewings (can you tell I don’t have a whole lot of respect for Dewicate Feewings?)and I can either sit around and mope, Talk Things Out With Myself (because, mainly, no one is around right now except CJ and he has even less respect for Dewicate Feewings than I do and Glory I’m not talking to HIM!)…but that’s kind of…lame, I think. That Marshall side comes crashing through the wall, saying “Suck It Up!!!” My family is really big on sucking it up, keeping it to yourself, which is a big part of the problem.
So, while Terry is at work, doing important things, I am going to be here, and do…if not important things…useful things. I am out of chicken stock, so a chickn ahs been purchased, will go into the oven to roast, then made into rich, herbal broth for soups and rices and such. Useful things. Maybe make some bread. Who doesn’t like bread? No one I know of! Fried chicken for supper, a bit of cleaning up, maybe some weeding…things that will make this home more homey, welcoming, comfortable for the people who live here (including me). And I can think about issues at the same time. I can cope with them. Handle them. wrestle them into something I can manage, without actually boxing them back up and ignoring them. Because that’s the way issues should be dealt with. Putting them in a box wrapped with duct tape just encourages them to fester and mold, and that’s just nasty.