What do you fear? How do you deal with it? I don’t mean the little things- like I fear cockroaches and deal with them with a great deal of hysteria and violence- I mean the big things like mortality and money and social things. Mortality I can handle for now. Barring anything unforeseen my demise is a while off. Terry’s too, hopefully, and also the kids, so it’s not even on the back burner, but on a shelf in the utility room behind the Christmas stuff. Money is kind of always there, on a 2 week cycle with the paychecks. It is not something I worry too hard about, tho, except when something like a deductible on a medical procedure is looming ($1000 on an upcoming thing…ouch!). Mainly I fear social stuff, being around people I don’t kow very well and not sure of how to act. “Oh just be yourself!” I am told, but then “myself” is a socially inept geek with precious little skill in relating. I know the rules- let them talk about themselves and they’ll love you- but then I come away from the experience dissatisfied, because all they did was talk about themselves and now I know their entire life history but they don’t know (or care) a single thing about me, and I am just selfish enough to want them to ask a few questions about *my* life. Which is why I blog..I can say all I want about ME ME ME, and if I want to know anything about YOU I’ll go read your blog…provided you link to it.

Thing is, I was raised that no one was interested in my life. “Don’t talk about yourself,” I was told, “they’re not interested.” and “Talking about yourself is self centered and boring.” Ok fine, I get that. Sometimes tho, I get around a person who asks questions, and acts like they’re interested, then I don’t know when to stop and suddenly when the conversation is over I realize the entire time was all about me and that is EMBARRASSING…”Oh Lord I hogged the whole conversation” or “I don’t know a thing about what they’re dealing with” or something like that. Diarrhea of the mouth, I has it.

So when Terry announces that there’s an upcoming Social Thing and I get to come, I get nervous. What to wear? how to act? how many gin and tonics can I have before I start acting weird? (2, usually, after that the mouth starts to run). What if all the women want to talk about theater or fashion, 2 subjects about which I know NOTHING…what to do? and the next 2 weeks leading up to the event are consumed with worry. Get me in a room with Hea Jun and we can babble on all day about genetic engineering of soybeans and the ethics therein, and be quite happy. Put me in a room with Ms. Yvonne and her latest shopping expedition to Nordstrom and I am silent and clueless. I wish I were more socially ept (you know, the oppostie of inept), but I don’t want to have to swap social eptitude for comprehending bioethics either…oh well. That’s my biggest fear, I think, looking foolish socially. What’s yours?


About rootietoot

I do what I can.
This entry was posted in *eep!, *whinge*, Dewicate feewings. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to

  1. JerseyChick says:

    Fashion soundbite: New York and London both just had their Spring 2011 Fashion Week. New York is showing shades of blue (especially turqoise) and grey (especially very light shades), and animal prints. Hairstyles for the Fall and Winter 2010 run toward long-straight-hippie or Mad Men/1940s glam. Gwen Stefani presented a new line that was well-received.
    There. Now you can carry the conversation into your new haircut/hairdresser, Gwen Stefani music, or the availability of 1940s style homemaking, a la Mad Men. Go to it!

  2. JerseyChick says:

    Horrors! Blues and greys are actually Winter 2010, Orange (War Eagle!) for Spring 2011.

  3. Bella Rum says:

    I was raised that way, too. Not too much talking about self. My mother used to say, “When people ask you how you’re doing, just say fine. They don’t really want to know.” She was probably right, but when you become a little more than acquaintances, I think people want the real thing. If you’re half as interesting as your blog, I bet you do just fine.

    I’m interested in the genetic engineering of soybeans and other crops and the ramifications of all that. I’m not all that knowledgeable, but it’s probably something we should all know a little more about.

    • rootietoot says:

      plant genetics in a nutshell: not as evil as people would have you think. Every time we select for certain qualities and breed for them, it’s genetic engineering. Adding a gene for betacarotene production (like they did with yellow rice,and reducing dramatically the occurrence of vitamin a deficiency in countries that eat rice as a main source of food), or engineering a plant that is naturally insect resistent (no insecticides!)benefits the people who eat (which seems to be most of us). Anyway…that’s my take on it. in short.

  4. Attila the Mom says:

    My biggest fear is that something’s going to happen to one of my kids. Not surprising, given the year we’ve had. I think it’s going to take awhile for that to go away.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s