In other words, if you’re a man and easily offended, go find something else to read
Lately (which is relative, we’re actually talking about the past couple of years) I’ve had issues with my lady parts. Not the external ones, they’re fine, but the internal stuff. Something about having had 4 children and turning 45 and lacking fondness for visits to the lady-parts doctor. Not that there’s anything wrong with *her*, oh she’s great…I just dislike being poked in a clinical environment. Anyway.
I’ve had issues. Everything I’ve read said that as you approach menopause your periods are supposed to get lighter and irregular, further apart, hat sort of thing. Only mine haven’t. To the contrary, they’ve been heavier (ok like disgustingly, for 3 days I can’t leave the house or be more than a few feet from a bathroom and must wear a fricken’ diaper type heavy) and more painful (like for 10 days painful enough that the usual remedies don’t work) blah blah and naturally, because I lean that way, I assume the worst…that is, that I am pretty much eat up with tumors, beyond any sort of help, most likely gonna die so I may as well write letters to my children and stock the freezer with casseroles.
So Terry’s arm is bothering him (stay with me here) and I want him to get to the orthopedist to get it fixed. He says No, not until I get to the gynecologist and deal with my issues. But I want him to go but he says no..you first. Ok fine, so the only way I can get him dealt wih is to go to the doctor for my stuff. Fine.
So I went, with a written list of bothersome symptoms and she said “ultrasound to rule out tumors” and no tumors so she said “ok other stuff that can be handled easily…you’re fine and not dying of cancer” either endometriosis or adenomyosis, both teatable with either hormones or a hysterectomy and since I don’t plan on any more kids and they’ll leave the ovaries *and* they can do it outpatient, I’m ok with that.
So next week I am scheduled for a D&C to see wot’s wot, which I am looking forward to like a root canal…but the thought of no more 10 day periods with diapers and bricks of ammunition…yeah.