Do you have it? I do, that tendency to bypass the brain-mouth filter and just say something, without considering consequence or how the other person might react.
When I was growing up, my parents called me tactless. I was just emulating them, they weren’t exactly diplomatic, either.
My kids call me sarcastic. Which I admit to, and I am also not very good about being on the receiving end of it…tho I try. Really, I do.
Terry is the very essence of diplomacy and tact. It’s what makes him a superior manager, and why his people love him. He can take an individual who’s performing poorly, and make a demotion feel like a lateral arabesque and allow them to save face with the other employees. I wouldn’t do that, not because I think he’s wrong for doing it, but because I lack the empathy and courtesy to think that far into it.
I’m learning,tho. Terry has taught me over the past 25 years that yes, Virginia, other people have feelings too. Only unlike him, I cannot surmise such things. I have to learn them through long and arduous experience. It’s why we have to move so much. I piss off the entire town with my mouth, then we move. I am thankful the USA is big enough that we can live in a new town every 5 years and my reputation for…erm…”directness” won’t precede me. Of course, since we’ve been in the Deep South so long, it may be time to move to the Midwest. I figure by the time I’m 65 we’ll be somewhere in Idaho, people in the South will have forgotten about me, and we can retire back here.
So, to anyone whom I said what I thought without first running it past my brain or Terry, please forgive my lack of tact. Chances are I meant exactly what I said, but I probably could have said it more gently. Maybe in the same way JerseyChick is a closet Southern Belle, I am a closet DamnYankee.