In the last post, Bella Rum commented about how it’s all about coping and that made me think. How am I coping with the whole huge mess of stuff that’s going on? There’s alot happening. Some I can’t go into detail, some I can. Each one of my boys, all 4 of them, are fixing to go through a major change. Will is starting school (hopefully). David is returning, and going into a tough curriculum. His job may end as well, but don’t know for sure. CJ may be starting a job that will send him to South Carolina for 6 months, or maybe he’ll start school. He’ll need a car that can get him there. #4 starts in a new school next week. So much uncertainty. Terry’s going through some mess I won’t detail, but it means I am going through mess as well. What happens to him happens to me.
So how to I cope? I look at the trees instead of the forest. One day at a time. Deal with this small crisis (a flea!!) instead of fooling with the big stuff. I love yard work when stress overwhelms. My favorite method involves Round-Up. Massive death and destruction on weeds. We have a brick patio that regularly sprouts weeds and now RoundUp has this extended release stuff that is supposed to surpress weeds for 4 months. So I bought some and it killed them nicely, now to see if they stay gone for 4 months. That would be a treat. And I pull weeds. Can’t use the roundup in the rose garden, wouldn’t be prudent.
I also cry alot. It’s not O Woe Is Me crying, it’s stress relief, like passing gas only more feminine. Except that it scares Terry. He hates to see me cry and I hate for him to see it, but sometimes it can’t be helped. I’m a girl. I cry. Then I have to go and explain why I am crying and probably get it all wrong…but still, it’s a coping mechanism.
When we were getting ready to move here from Auburn, I remember a “Forest instead of trees” moment. I’d looked into the backyard and saw the mess and kinda freaked out. Terry was already working here, and it was just me and the kids. And a monumental mess in the back yard. A 6 foot deep hole CJ had dug, after watching the movie “Holes”. Piles of…stuff. Overwhelmed with the getting ready of the house already, and seeing all that just kind of sent me right over the edge, and I shut down. Terry was home that weekend, and said he’d deal with the back yard if I would pretty please quit rocking and chewing my back leg like a dog in a trap.. and so after a few minutes I recovered and went on with the business. The way he dealt with it was sensible and amusing: he put all that…STUFF in the hole, and covered it up. Nothing toxic or potentially dangerous…but he filled up the hole with the stuff and that was that. I would have taken all the stuff to the dump and filled the hole with dirt but hey…fill is fill and the hole was filled. Right? Right. Terry is very good at seeing the forest *and* the trees.
So now I cope. I live each day one at a time, as if that’s all that matters. I do the laundry, plan the meals, buy the groceries, and try to quit thinking about the big picture. Sort of. It’s there in the background, like a looming nuclear power plant, generating energy…but with enough effort it can be ignored..well ok maybe not ignored, but not looked at too hard. I’ll work on the details of life, keep looking at the individual trees, the mushrooms in the dirt, the moss on the bark. There’s a saying “God is in the details”.. maybe I’ll keep thinking that. Let the big stuff handle itself.