When things are in a turmoil, for whatever reason, i turn into a complete klutz. Dinner gets burned (tonight: a pan of pecans and 3 chicken breasts), things get dropped (a glass, and I misstepped going downstairs and probably could have borken my ankle!!) Plus I ferget how to type.
It could be anything that causes it but there is one common denominator: uncertainty. If I could say “yes, this is what’s happening and here’s what I need to do” even if it’s something HUGE, I’m good to go. Calm and collected, all set with a real direction. But, if it’s a case of “something is about to happen but I don’t know what exactly or when” then I fall all to pieces, break things, lose things, get distracted and burn things.
I hate that.
Fortunately for the rest of the household I can pretty much keep my emotional self in check. I mean, ok…I bark at the kids some if they are annoying me. CJ yelled earlier today because I was being illogical, but I explained the reason why (the uncertainty and all) and we forgave each other because we do that…but still.
I start drinking alot of white wine, too. It calms me. Not all day, and never to a degree where I become unable to function, but for some reason a glass of white wine stops the dropping, breaking, and burning. Fortunately there’s a great big bottle that’s kinda cheap and serves it’s purpose well. I am thankful I am not a wine snob and perfectly content with a liter of Barefoot Pinot Grigio for $8, because I go through them pretty often these days.
So then, what’s up? What’s the source of the anxiety and all?
Well…I’ll let you kno when I know for sure what’s going to happen and when. For now, I’ll just accidentilly hurl things across the room and fall down the stairs.