I know there are people with problems way worse than mine. They worry about their next meal, or if their child is going to survive through the night. They worry if they’re going to have a job next week. I know there are people pregnant with babies they didn’t plan for or want, and people who’s spouses have run off with the secretary. I know these things, but these problems aren’t my problems. I feel for them, I truly do, but I am so absorbed in my own (kinda small, really) issues that I can’t be feeling a whole lot of sympathy for anyone at the moment. Do you ever feel like that? Like your issues are the biggest ones on your plate right now and you kinda gotta wade through them before you can fool with someone elses?
I know. Get a grip, Rootie, you weenie.
But see, it’s like this. I have this dog. Y’all know I have dogs and I’m a little crazy about them. No, they’re not children. If I had a child with these same problems I would not be talking about what I’m fixing to talk about. Dogs are not children and I am not one of these nutjobs who thinks they are. They’re dogs. However, they are also my constant daily companions, each with her own particular personality and each with her own little spot in my heart. Anyway, Rosie, the mini-est of the dogs, has a herniated disc resulting in paralysis in her back end, possibly (probably) permanent. Along with this is bladder and bowel control issues, and needing to stay in a crate when she isn’t in my lap, as the other dogs (especially the big lab) tend to have little tolerance for weakness. So..it’s looking like (barring a miracle over the next few days) we’re going to have to have her put down. This makes me very sad. Not broken hearted, that’s reserved for people, but sad, as she was a merry and delightful little dog with peculiarities that made her entertaining and quirky. She was also hopelessly inbred and bound for all the things wrong that happen to mini dachshunds. Now, there are wheelchairs for dachshunds, but there are also deep issues with any sort of back end paralysis, stuff like bladder and kidney infections, impacted bowels, and the whole quality of life issue. So, like I said, barring a miracle, we’ll have her put down probably early next week. I have an appointment with the vet Monday to see if she has improved any, but he was sceptical and so am I.
There’s also Terry’s work thing. All those hours, all that political infighting and backstabbing..Well, you say, at least he’s employed, right? Right. I know. He has a job. I am happy for that. Nonetheless, I am very unhappy with the working conditions and will continue to be until something gives.
Then there’s the physical stuff. At least I have insurance, right? Right. It still hurts. My shoulder hurts. It does. Pain meds that work are forbidden. Terry’s arm hurts, or his knee hurts and I can’t get him to the orthopedist to have it looked into. He’s worried it will need replacing and he can’t take that kind of time off from work. His arm probably needs another surgery. Ditto the time off.
but we have a house. We have each other. Love’s still there, kids are all healthy (if misbehavin’ a bit…no one’s dead, no one’s sick). relatively speaking, we’re all ok. it’s just…kinda…I’m not *happy*, and I’m tired of that. I want a bit of time with nothing weighing on my mind. I want CJ graduated and settled at NADC. I want Will’s paperwork done and him definitely going to East Ga. I want Terry to be excited about going to work in the morning, and home at a decent hour. That’s all.