The Prank

Because he’s nice that way, and because he’d reconnected with many of his old classmates there, Himself decided to ‘friend’ his old high school girlfriend (I almost said ‘sweetheart’ but that would be a gross mischaracterization), and right out of the chute, the very first comment she made was critical of one aspect of his comfortable Captain of Industry lifestyle. It wasn’t “Hi, how are the kids?” or “It’s nice you see you’re still alive”, it was “Cigars! DISGUSTING!” to his comment of spending the evening with a fine cigar and a glass of bourbon. Her next comment was something along the lines of “Cigars are only good if they aren’t lit”. Well, talk about typical. She spent the entire 7 years of their relationship being critical of what he wore, what he drove, how he looked, the house his parents lived in, constant browbeating. Why did he put up with it? You may well ask. I wonder myself, but he’s patient that way, and probably thought she was the best he could do.

Anyway, I decided to see how many women I could get together to say something complimentary about the cigar issue, to leave something on his facebook about it, and it was FANTASTIC! Thank you to all of you who participated. No one said anything ugly to her (I didn’t want that, anyway), it was all just comments about how sexy a good cigar smells, how it smells of success and money, that sort of thing. Great fun! *smack* on her!


And you know what? A good cigar *does* smell fantastic. When he comes in late in the evening, after having a Royal Sterling and a glass of Basil Hayden’s (small batch bourbon), he smells amazing, like a man, smoke and bourbon and a touch of leather…yes. Cheap cigars, no thank you. They can smell righteously nasty. Even some expensive ones smell nasty. He smoked a (what was it…it was Wife Beater Nasty)…Partagas…that’s it. A $10 cigar he got about 1/4 the way through and I forbade him to ever smoke one of those again. BLECH. Fortunately it was a gift, so he didn’t feel an obligation to finish it. Through trial and occasional error he’s found brands that we both approve of. Since I am the one who has to smell him, I get veto powers, and we’ve learned which makes and models suit both of us.

Now, I don’t actually smoke them, myself.
cigar lady
I’ve tried a few times and wind up tasting them for days afterwards. While they taste nice at the time, 3 days later they aren’t. Instead I sit downwind, enjoying the aroma and companionship, and yes, even the…whatd’yacallit…sense of entitlement that comes from knowing he has the White Privilege of enjoying a $15 dessert cigar and bourbon. Because, By God, he’s worked hard for it, and deserves it.


About rootietoot

I do what I can.
This entry was posted in home and hearth, Hooray!, ridiculous!, spouse. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Prank

  1. Tracey says:

    Hah! Sorry I missed my opportunity, however, being the honest person I am, seeing I couldn’t bring myself to say anything complimentary about cigars, I would have had to tell her that she was just plain rude.

  2. Mermade says:

    I can’t have cigars because of exactly what you pointed out about them: the taste lingers in your mouth for days. I had a cigar during my dad’s Christmas party, which we have at our house. This was also the time I got so smashed on whiskey that I now have a taste aversion to alcohol. I will smoke hookah, the occasional cigarette, and drink a little bit. But cigars? I associate them with the taste that was in my mouth during the worst hangover I ever had.

  3. Pingback: Tact, white lies, and videotape. « trace elements

  4. Jo says:

    Congrats on the prank; I’m not on Facebook, but would’ve helped if I was.

    My association with cigars is via my dad, who smoked a good-quality cigar every Sunday afternoon without fail. So I don’t think of cigars as sexy, but they are imbued with warmth and security and make me nostalgic for my childhood. So ya, I like the smell of a good cigar too.

  5. Kim says:

    Ah heck — I missed being part of the prank! But that woman sounds horrible. But he made a good choice with you, Rootie, that’s for sure!

  6. jeanie says:

    I think the bottom line here is do we have to make friends with everyone we have ever been in contact with on Facebook, and why give a flying fishtail about their opinions.

    If she left a bad taste in the mouth, unfriend.

    Notice how I neatly sidestepped the whole cigar thing there?

    Mind you, I would not have been as gracious as you, possibly, and have had a catfight so your tactics are brilliant.

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