I am at that point where I want to reach into my belly button and rip out my uterus. Right now, I hate that thing. Oh sure, it served me well, carried 4 fine children to healthy full term and all, but now, it decides to cramp, to make these awful messes at the most inconvenient times. Well, I’ve had enough of it, thank you.
You know what? I never even HAD a cramp until after I turned 40. Now it seems to be making up for lost time. Pisses me off, I’ll tell you what.
And on top of that, 2 of the dogs have developed this compulsive LICKING that is driving me NUTS…just *slurp slurp slurp* all the time. GOOD GRIEF is there anything more IRRITATING (other than cramps, of course)?
And I’m HUNGRY…I want fried chicken and mashed potatoes and green beans with a knob of smoked pork, but will I get that? NO! I’m going to have YET ANOTHER flamin’ green salad for lunch ,because that’s what I have in the fridge. Supper tonight will be a fish thing, because that’s what I have. you know what? I HATE fish, unless it’s battered in a spicy coating and rolled in panko crumbs, then fried. But my doctor says my triglycerides are too high, so no fried food.
PLUS there’s like $350 a month of hospital bills to be paid, because of Terry’s broken arm and #4’s double gut bug (giardia PLUS salmonella) which means NO EATING OUT until it’s paid off sometime mid 2010.
Hey, you know another thing my doctor told me? My sodium is too low. I asked how I would know it was TOO too low, he said I’d have convulsions and maybe die. But, I replied, I am on an anticonvulsant medication. Well, he replied, then you’ll just die without the convulsions. Farkin’ great. Pass me the pretzels BECAUSE I CAN’T HAVE CHIPS BECAUSE MY TRIGLYC….well, you know.
There, perhaps it ‘s out of my system now, and I can be sparkly and cheerful again.