Apparently, I am both heartless and ignorant (read the comments)because I believe women should be in charge of their destiny, and because I have difficulty respecting someone who repeatedly returns to an abusive relationship. The key word is repeatedly. Even a dog avoids someone who beats them, if they can. However, because I believe an adult woman is capable of determining her own way, I am “victim blaming” when I say I see their behavior as weak.
Silly me, being a woman apparently I am supposed to rely on my feelings to guide me, rather than logic and reason. I’ve said before I don’t trust feelings. Apparently these women, who (according to other commentors) cannot help themselves, because their abusers start out as charming, and charismatic, and make the women dependent on them. Ok, I can see falling for that once, maybe twice. Personally, I have trusted a charming man once. Only once, and avoid them like snakes now. Give me a sweet natured, goofyish kind of fellow over Rhett Butler any day. Give me a man who stumbles over his words and trips on the bank threshold over a man who looks fabulous and knows it. I learned. Is it unreasonable for me to believe that other women are capable of learning as well, and for having trouble respecting someone who returns to the same charming, charismatic abuser over and over again?
I realize I am a heartless asshole where these women are concerned. It’s why I am not a social worker, nor a volunteer at a women’s shelter. I’d be terrible at it and would cause more damage than good with my “get over it, suck it up and take control of yourself!” attitude.
Someone please say something to convince me I am wrong, that I “don’t understand”, am a “victim blamer” because I don’t have deep and abiding respect for women who won’t take control of their own destiny. I know…I don’t understand…I am heartless…and ignorant. Believe me, I get that, no need for calling names.