Filed under: I see old people, Not another Change!, Sometimes she thinks too much, spouse | Tags: retirement, Spouse
So, I was reading Bella’s blog and she’s talking about settling in with her husband’s retirement. It got me to thinking about Terry’s retirement in 20 years or so. Initially 20 years sounds like a long time, but then I remember that we’ve been married 25-1/2 years and how quickly that has gone by and suddenly it feels like it is right around the corner.
Then I wonder what it will be like. Terry is really looking forward to it. He has worked full time, sometimes more than that, since he was 12. First farm work, then jobs in high school that paid for college, then worked during college and so on. He has always worked more than the standard 40-hour week as long as we’ve been married, and always always talked about how much he looked forward to retirement so he could do the things he wants to do-woodworking (hoping for a granddaughter so he can make a dollhouse, and pretty furniture), restoring an old truck like the one he built in high school (a 1955-56-57 Chevy), stuff like that.
I am wondering what it will be like to have him around all day. Will I do like my mother does with Dad, and allow him to come inside for meals? I remember how Dad worked the way Terry does- always doing something, and how happy is is now that he’s retired. He’s still always doing something, but it’s what HE wants to do, not what an employer wants.
The problem is, I am used to being home alone all day and honestly, I like it. What happens when Terry discovers exactly how lazy I really am? What happens when he finds out that my method of cleaning the house is “Get the major stuff that everyone notices and close the door on everything else”? Somehow, I don’t think he’ll really care, but I don’t like the idea of being found out, either.
Mom was the same way. A housewife, she relished her days alone while Bro. Scott and I were at school. She particularly liked those days that he had track and I had after school band or choir practice, because it meant an extra couple of hours. I am understanding that, now that #4 has soccer that lasts until 5:15 and I only have to drive him and teammates once a week. When that’s all done (in 2017, when he graduates and *hopefully* goes off to college)I’ll (assuming the older boys have finished college and left home) have days alone like that all the time. As a loner, I am looking forward to it. Also, as a loner, I am wondering how I’ll handle Terry being home all day.
Bella says she sometimes feels like sticking a fork in her husband. I understand that. I am wondering if we’ll have to switch to eating grits with a spoon all the time, and get rid of forks and knives entirely. Right now I don’t feel like sticking a fork in Terry, because he’s not around much (though to his credit, and The Owner’s, he IS working more humane hours and I am really happy about that). Maybe like Mom I’ll have to keep a long list for Terry, of stuff that has to be done outside in the shop, and only allow him to come inside for meals. I am sure I will really enjoy his company and take full advantage of it initially, but how long until I’m ready for him to spend his days in the shop, and I’ll say “no thanks” when he asks if I want to ride to Lowe’s with him? How long before he gets into the morning habit (like Dad) of running errands that inevitably include an Uncle Shug’s chicken biscuit?
It was kind of funny this past weekend, at the cabin in the woods. Terry was up by 6, and busy by 6:30. He is so used to getting up and hitting the floor running that even in such a peaceful setting, he had to be doing something…splitting wood for kindling, straightening things, DOING THINGS. He is not really wired for doing nothing. Even when he’s watching the race (oh…and race season starts this Sunday!) he is doing something, drawing plans, sorting things, putting things in places. This is why he has a big TV in his shop/mancave/multipurpose building in the backyard.
So, retirement in 20 years. Looking forward to it, nervous about it, yep, all that.
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