Filed under: Uncategorized
I have this picture in my phone, that is of CJ (18) with his pet rooster on his shoulder. It’s a little bantam rooster, and what make it sweet to me is how I’ve always called CJ a bantam rooster. He’s smallish, wiry, kind of cocky, etc, just like one. Anyway, now it’s in my phone and I cannot figure out how to get it into the computer to show it. My phone is not email compatible (it’s old), but i did download a driver so it’s connected somehow to the computer, but I can’t get the stuff off the phone into the computer. However, I *can* send the picture to Terry’s phone, which is newer and might *be* email compatible then he could email it to me and I’d have it. Does that make sense? I thought computers were supposed to simplify our lives.
You’ll have to make do with this approximation. I used Paint with a touchpad, so be gentle.
Filed under: *whinge*, Dewicate feewings, God Stuff, Good grief, oh HELL no!, spouse
That’s me, the eternal pessimi…I mean…realist. Whenever things start to go smoothly, rather than sit back and enjoy it, I get nervous and start looking for the catch, for that other proverbial shoe to drop.
And no, things aren’t going perfectly well right now. Terry’s job sucks. CJ hasn’t graduated yet, and unless some things happen he won’t.
I picked CJ up yesterday and saw where he’s living. I didn’t get to meet the people, as they were all at work, but I saw the place and it’s CJ heaven. So I am happy for him there. I’d be alot happier tho, if he’d just GRADUATE. If I KNEW beyond any doubt that he was going into, instead of this hanging on the tightrope anxiety about it. He said he will, but he’s said alot of things.
Terry’s job, it sucks. It sucks the life out of him every day. It has sucked the light and joy out of his eyes. It is sucking his very soul. There is something wrong about that place. I don’t mean just on a work/ whatever level, but on a spiritual plane. It’s just…I don’t know what to call it other than soul sucking, and WRONG. I want him out of there. now. whatever it takes. before he becomes one of them, ruthless and mean.
I’ll move into a housetrailer, sell my fancy car and get a 10 yr old truck, give up the chicken breasts and fancy foods for chuck roast and squash. Whatever.
Filed under: *whinge*
r u anoyd by txt msg abrvs? me 2. I h8 thm
from having a 12 yr old girl in the house for 3 weeks:
1.There are as many different versions of pink as there are of legos.
2. Oranges are their own food goup
3. Cats prefer girls, generally
4. You don’t have to wait until a rose bloom is dead, to pick it off the bush.
5. You will never get all the glitter up.
6.Hair is a fashion accessory, not a bodily function.
7. Boys really are silly.
8. Rolling your eyes and sighing is more of an X-chromosomal trait than a learned behavior
9. Boys are really easily confused (ok I knew that but it took seeing it second hand to recognize it)
10. Yes,you *can* watch Pride and Prejudice 3 times in a row and still think it’s funny.
“Have some more bacon”
“No, I’m too upset to eat bacon.” Wendell loved bacon. It was sacred food for him and he didn’t want to sully the experience by partaking of it while in a dark mood.
“…sure you don’t want some more bacon?”
“Maybe just a piece,” ….. He crunched on a strip.Then another. The salty pork had a calming effect, like warm, chewy opium with streaks of fat and rind.
from: Sorrow Wood by Raymond L. Atkins.
Thank you, Elizabeth, that is awesome.
I love the early Sunday morning, because no one is up. Terry sleeps in, I can hear the coffee pot making it’s random noises, and this morning there’s a thunderstorm. I love a good thunderstorm, inside the thick walls of my house, with the window opened and a cool breeze. Roxie (our yellow lab) is snoring softly on the couch. I am sure the weinerdogs (still in their crates) hear it and are pretty sure they don’t want to go outside, so I am letting them sleep in as well. They’re kinda wussy when it comes to meteorlogical change.
I’m thinking about living in The South. I’ve been here since I was 9, and consider myself a Southerner at this point. I have the accent down, and the culinary habits (Uncle Shug’s, fried okra, fried squash, fried pound cake with ice cream, sweet tea), and the disdain for poorly behaved people. Now, I don’t mean people who suck their teeth or scratch, but the ones who are gratuitously mean and unforgiving. Oh, we can be mean and unforgiving, to be sure (we’re human, after all), but Southerners are unfailingly polite. Hold the door open, let the pregnant woman (or old, or one with the armload) have the seat, compliment the 6 inch lift and 36″ mud tires on your Silverado, that kind of polite.
The South catches a bad rap. Racism being the biggest one. Usually by people who have never lived here. Yes, it exists. I daresay it’s not the only place it exists, tho. Go to Saudi Arabia and see how the Pakistanis are treated. Go to California and consider Hispanics. Go to Vermont and consider anyone who isn’t a New Englander. I am tired of being made fun of on TV. I am weary of poorly executed fake Southern accents being used to identify the dumb thug bad guy in movies, or the blonde tart. It is really getting old, and under my skin.
Is it a perfect place for anyone and everyone? No, of course it isn’t. Assholes live everywhere. However, just because some person (who couldn’t introspect his way out of a Walmart bag) decided the black family that moved in down the street is the source of all his problems and did something violent and hateful, and that moron is a Southerner (yes, they exist) does not by default mean that ALL Southerners wish they could do the same thing. So I get kind of pissy when people start going on about Southerners! KKK! Cross burning! YES! It’s AWFUL! And I have never met a cross burner! I have never SEEN a burning cross! I’ve never KNOWN a family who had one burned in their lawn! WHADYAKNOW!
I do, however, know a black family who moved here from Chicago, because they were kinda tired of 10 yr old black kids being shot by other black kids on their front lawn. So they moved to The South. Whadyaknow.
I’m getting a little riled, it’s a gorgeous rainy Sunday morning, and I want to get in the right frame of mind for worship.
So I am going to be thankful for a few things:
Good friends, whatever race they might be
good bacon, because who isn’t thankful for that?
A solid house to listen to the thunder outside, and be safe
Living in a region where people know you exist, and hold the door for you.
Filed under: Awesomeness, Dewicate feewings, friends IRL, oh you self indulgent hussy!
See, Loaner Girl has had what I call a No Good Terrible Really Rotten Lousy Day. For reasons I won’t go into but they are entirely justified (they include the disappointment of RAIN on the day we meant to go to the beach). So, because even tho there is only a vestigial nubbin of femininity left in my psyche, as long term exposure to testosterone has stunted it, I decided to call upon that nubbin and indulge in that most ladylike of activities: shopping.
Get this (shocking! I know!) JC Penney was having a SALE (gasp!). I haven’t shopped like that since…well…Ever. Loaner Girl is a pro. She shops like a huntress, and turns it into this amazing game…well anyway, I have never had such an experience and I told her that I’m never going clothes shopping again unless she comes with.
We came out of it with a bag full of stuff, including a skirt and top for me, and lots of goods for her (that needed a touch of altering, as most 12 yr olds aren’t built like Marilyn Monroe) but her No Good Terrible Really Rotten Lousy Day turned around, as I’d hoped it would.
And I had more fun shopping than I ever thought possible.
Then we ate. Ruby Tuesday’s for their yummy fries and a sandwich, discussion about future shopping trips, all that girly stuff.
I am so grateful I have friends willing to let me borrow girls!
Even #4 said he would miss her, that he kind of liked having a part time sister.
No, not that kind. I’ve learned my limits where the alcohol is concerned and haven’t had a hangover in DAYS! Kidding…it’s been weeks.
Anyway, the worst hangover comes fom stress. Any kind, good or bad, makes me feel weird for days once it’s resolved. Heck of it is, it’s never completely resolved. Just about the time one thing gets settled, half a day goes by where I’m all *whew* then something else happens. It’s the price of being human, I reckon.
Is there anyone out there who sails along peacefully, never screwing up, no peculiar circumstances happening, nothing much going on except maybe a hangnail? I was reading another blog and he said this:
“Everyone else just seems so… externally stable. While I know internally I’m pretty much like a rocking ship…”
Yes. That’s me. I look at other people’s lives, all smiles and flower petals and I feel like broken glass inside. And the breaking is ALL MY FAULT.
One of my serious beefs with Christian Literature(ok if you can call it that, so much of it is absolute tripe, but then it’s not because it’s Christian, there’s plenty of secular tripe out there as well) is the recurring theme of Main Character Is Good. MC Is Hurt. MC Leaves God. MC Finds Redemption. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for redemption. I love the stuff. HOWEVER. The Main Character leaves God because some outside force hurts him/her. I have YET to see a main character who wanders away, does shit because s/he wants to, or maybe never knew God to begin with and did shit, THEN is redeemed. No. The action is always from an outside source, Not Their Fault. A child is killed, or the MC is horribly abused as a child, or something…just not something that they did to themselves. I resent that. Sometimes things happen to people through their own actions, and the person carries the guilt from that. I think that could be a far heavier burden that dealing with the anger toward someone who wronged you. Anyway, that’s part of my issue with feeling hangovers, remembering stuff.
So, when I am stressed, let’s say it’s from Kid Issues (I won’t call names but his initials are CJ, 4 years ago it was Will, 5 years from now it may be #4), or work issues, or “how do we get started selling our house” issues or even stuff having to do with NOTHING but I still fret…and things settle a bit, like this:
Spring Break for CJ this week, nothing I can do with CJ this week, put it on the back burner
Nothing I can do with Terry’s work, things seem to be normalizing a little bit, back burner
House, fantasize about smaller one, look at plans, I don’t have but 2 back burners, I’ll put it on the side simmer burner.
Other Stuff, resolved. Set it on the side to cool.
But I’m still hungover. A little shaky, a little cranky, a little hungry (why does it make me hungry? I’m on the west side of size 16 heading East and I LIKE it) but I can see some peace ahead, provided SOMETHING doesn’t happen to screw things up. Which I am totally expecting, because it’s like those people who get smacked so often they flinch when someone lifts a hand. I see a particular stress related event or person coming and I clench my jaw and wait for the worst.
Today, however, is going to be an exercise in stress relief, a hangover remedy of sorts, provided the clouds clear like they’re supposed to.
Tybee Island, a short drive from here, with friends and kids. Provided the rain clears. I may take them anyway because they’re both very excited about going.
I have the dubious distinction of being The Fat Lady around here so maybe come end of May I’ll be singing. I hope so.
It’s still very up in the air about CJ graduating. He is short some worksheets in the one class he’s failing and since he’s going to be here next week (Spring Break) I’m going to kind of push him to get them done. They’re easy stuff, Eli could do them, but CJ balks when he sees 10 of them and doesn’t do ANY of them. It kind of makes me worried for his future work ethic. I mean, what is he going to do when he’s in someone’s transmission and decides to go fishing instead of putting it back together? I don’t know! There’s money issues too, but that will get worked out.
I keep telling myself: he’s 18, soon to be 19. He’s allowed to make his own mistakes and needs to suffer the consequences.
Even if it means not graduating. He can take a credit recovery course this summer. Except that now he’s looking at not graduating for another reason: skipping school. I don’t know these things, I never EVER skipped. If he is not allowed to graduate because of skipping, does this mean he fails EVERY class, not just the one he has a failing grade in?
He’s 18, soon to be 19. He’s allowed to make his own mistakes and needs to suffer the consequences.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
I am not a lousy no good horrible rotten parent because I have a child who is willfull and hard headed. I am a normal parent with a willfull and hardheaded child. Even the Drill Sergeant Uncle who took him in for 6 months said he’d never seen such cussedness, which was kind of reassuring in a sick sort of way.
I JUST want this OVER WITH. I want him THROUGH with school so I really can let him go to be an adult on his own with his own mistakes. I was able to do that with Will, and Will has (finally) turned out pretty well. I am TIRED.
Filed under: food
If you’re read anything here, you’re probably aware of my fondness for bacon.
This is one of my favorite things to make with it, born of a time when all we had in the fridge was a chunk of venison and 2 strips of bacon.
So, here it is!
1 big chuck roast, cut into 1 inch chunks. Look at it carefully, pull it apart at the natural junctions of the muscle tissue, and cut across the grain of the muscle fibers, this makes the chunks more tender
Your Favorite Beef Seasoning. I like Mrs. Dash for steak, but anything you prefer
Toss the beef chunks in a generous portion of the seasoning.
Using your favorite thin sliced bacon, weave the chunks of beef and bacon onto a skewer and grill your favorite way. I prefer to grill vegs seperately from the meat, because they cook at a different rate. Peppers and onions, generally, maybe small tomatoes, tossed in a bit of olive oil and pepper.