#4 and I have this game we play, called The Inconspicuous Red Button. It started in the car, when he noticed a red button and asked what would happen if he mashed it (“mashed” is Southern Vernacular for “pressed” or “pushed”). I said it would cause a mustache to grow on a woman in Toronto. He looked startled, and asked if that’s what it would always do, and I replied no, that whenever it was mashed, something harmless but exceedingly random would occur somewhere in the world. For all we knew, next time he mashed it a pie would appear on a table in Belfast, or a vase of flowers in the middle of a sidewalk in Beijing.
So now, as we sit waiting for the bus, or on the patio in the warm sunshine, he’ll look at me with innocent 10 yr old mischief on his face, point his finger and mash an invisible button, saying “Beep”, and that’s my cue to invent something random, or I’ll do it, say “beep” and he’ll reply with “You just grew a unibrow”.
Today, we caused a pumpkin pie outbreak in Screven County, a plague of cherry-lollipop eating locusts in the neighbor’s yard, and the 2 girls across the street to turn into boys (only long enough to cause potty confusion, then they turned back).
What would you do if you had an Inconspicuous Red Button?