What if my rich uncle left me a million dollars?

Attention all readers:
I’m not as whiney as I seem.

Sure, I’d love it if Sweet Daddio worked fewer hours, but I’v learned to make the most of his time at home, as best I can. If this means changing the lightbulbs myself, and not getting too worked up if a broken thing doesn’t get fixed right away, so be it. I’d rather go for a walk or a drive to Savannah (less common with gas prices being what they are) with him than be a harpy about the chores.

And yeah, a paycheck would be great. If someone out there wants to send me one, I won’t turn it down, but the benefits of this lifestyle I chose 20-1/2 years ago far outweigh the lack of paycheck.

Also, I know I’m loved, by my family, and by God. I feel it most of the time (whenever the Mood Issue isn’t trying to take over). Even my dogs love me! And Phleud, who follows me around and sits in my lap, purring his heart out, whenever I make said lap available to him. So yeah, I feel loved most of the time (whenever the Mood Issue isn’t taking over).

See, I’m fixing to Go Away for the better part of a week. Jersey Chick is leading Vacation Bible School at her church, and was suffering anxiety about the lack of Craft Leadership. Well. Craft Leadership is my forte’. I’ve done it for a VBS at a church with 300 kids for years, and was missing it since we moved. So I am going to Near Atlanta for the better part of a week, to guide and direct Crafts. Whee! What this means is SD and Boys (#’s 2 and 3) will be on their own. I’m not cooking anything to freeze and have ready for them, because times past when I’ve done that it was pointless, they just got Taco Bell or made sandwiches. I’m not neatening up the house for them, because that would be mostly a wasted effort. I’ll do the laundry, and that’s all.

Understand this: I know I have it good. I am thankful for all of, the family and friends, the ability to be able to stay home and take care of everyone and everything. But just like everyone else, every now and then I wonder ‘what if’. What if I’d taken that road 22 years ago, instead of this one? What if I were more outgoing, able to put myself in situations where I’d meet people and Be Involved? What if I never had panic attacks, or paranoia, or those other things that come with this mental disorder? What if pigs could fly and pine trees grew peaches?

So, that’s all I was doing- wondering ‘what if’.