Because it really is personal…

I’m closing up shop again for a few days. I’m going back to Texas to pack up my grandparent’s house, and get Grandad’s truck. #3 is coming with (next week is Spring Break), to do the climbing and heavy lifting. Mom and Dad will be there as well.

This is a sad sort of thing, the dissolution of a household, especially one that has been functioning for 70+ years. In a way I feel like a vulture, because they’re asking me what do I want and there are things I DO want but…it just seems so crass. Grandmother doesn’t mind, she’s happy that I want these things (a set of dishes, a certain painting, a couple of quirky bits of furniture), but I still feel like a vulture of sorts.

Anyway, I won’t be blogging for the next week or so. There’s Things To Do here at the house before I leave, so I am shutting down a couple of days ahead of time, to concentrate on freezing casseroles for Sweet Daddio and #2, and making sure the towels are washed, all that stuff that when done will contribute to my peace of mind.

I’ll be thinking about things, stuff that has occupied a back corner of my mind for a while, and requires some mental mastication. Getting old, for instance. Why does our culture so abhor it? Just what is so terribly awful about having wrinkles and needing to slow down a bit? Why are we uncomfortable with old folks? They were, after all, young folks once. Hopefully, Lord Willing and all, we’ll be old one day. Are we going to gently accept that the rest of our society finds us offensive and wants to pretend we don’t exist? Why are we too busy to see old people? Is it because we’re so busy taking young people to soccer, piano,karate,dance, whatever that we simply don’t have the time? So what if, in 50 years time, no one has the time to spend with us? What do you do when you’re 95, and all your friends have died? What do you do when you fall and break something, and you’re nearest family is 8 hours away? You have to rely on the kindness of (paid) strangers, and that really doesn’t seem right to me.

It’s a result of how our society functions today, versus 100 years ago. Families don’t stay in the same communities anymore. We go where our careers take us, without regard to family. I’m not saying it’s wrong, it’s just how it is. If the aged parents move to where the grown children live, there is a chance they’ll have to move again, and again. We’ve moved 5 times during the course of SD’s career, and it’s possible, even likely, that we’ll move at least one more time. At the moment it’s not a problem, because both sets of parents are in decent physical health, and not in need of care. I see it coming, tho. They’re all 70+/- a year or two, and starting to show signs of it. One set has no trouble with the idea of moving, and has made tenative plans to find an apartment or small house near here. The other…well…that’s another matter. Moving would be onerous in the extreme. Not just because of the sheer volume of STUFF, but because of their lifestyle. It worries me. As the daughter, taking care of the parents falls to me. I don’t resent it, it’s just how it is. My brother’s wife will take care of her parents. I’m just not sure how it will all shake out. I don’t know if they’ll actually move in with us, or find their own place nearby. I guess that depends on their needs, and I have no way of predicting that.

Anyway, that’s what I’m thinking about.