Because it really is personal…


February 29, 2008, 10:06 pm
Filed under: *whinge*, Disease and infirmity, family, Grandparents

Well. Grandad, who lives near Amarillo, had a stroke last Friday. Now he’s out of the hospital and going into a nursing home, and he’s apparently objecting to it rather violently. They aren’t sure they can keep him there, he’s behaving so badly. He can’t go home. He can’t go into the facility where Grandmother’s living, as it’s not set up for nursing care. I have plane tickets to fly out there in April, but my aunt (their daughter) wants me to come next week.

How do you tell a 93 year old man, who’s cussedly independent, who has always ALWAYS been in charge, that he has to give it up, and let some young woman handle his most private matters? How long will a man like that last in such a situation?

Everyone seems to think if anyone can get through to him it will be me. How am I supposed to do that? I’m his 6 yr old Rootietoot in blond pigtails.

The stroke took some of his cognitive functions, but none of his physical abilities. He has some trouble speaking, thinking of the words he wants to use, but no trouble at all hitting the physical therapist, or slapping at the nurse.

He is a proud, bitter man. I cannot possibly see how he’ll last long.

Dear Lord, give me the words and the strength, because I sure don’t have them on my own.

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2 Comments so far
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Rootie,

I’m so sorry about your grand dad. My husband’s mom had to be placed in a nursing home when her Parkinson’s became so bad we could no longer take care of her at home. After she had been there about a week you could tell she liked it (although she would not admit it). Her roommate talked her into going to all kinds of activities. She also got her hair done once a week, something she did not do at home. We really believe that going there not only extended her life but gave her a better quality of life.

It seems like a heavy burden has been placed on you and the family expects a miracle. Maybe you can be the one to make him understand this is done with love and with his safety in mind. I hope you find him a nursing home with wonderful, caring people.

Comment by Indiana Mom

This is a task, Rootie, that not one person on this planet or any other should have to do. But maybe your family is right and Grandad *will* see you as your 6-year-old-blond-pigtailed-self and remember his manners – at least in front of his grand-daughter – and it will help.

Thinking good thoughts and sending them SE.

Comment by northern girl




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