Because it really is personal…

I know, it’s not Jan 1 yet, but if I don’t make these resolutions now they won’t happen. Besides, why NOT make them on December whatever? Is there a law that says I can’t?

I resolve:

1. to smile more

2.clean the bathrooms before the toilet growls.

3.eat more fish…especially fish tacos. Man, those are good.

4.give up processed meats (no hot dogs, no packaged lunch meat, no sausage except what comes from Ellis’)

5.to keep the conclusions I jump to to myself until the idiotic behavior that caused the conclusion becomes apparent to everyone.

6.to clean the unnamed sticky spots off the wall before they need to be removed with paint stripper.

7.to quit with the “I don’t have time for that, I have to do (stupid housewife chore)”, because no one will remember me for the color of the throw pillows or the minty aroma of the closets.

8.get my hair cut more than once every 6 months because, DAMMIT!, I can afford to get my hair cut more than once every 6 months!

9.Eat more grapefruit. Every resolution list should have at least one thing that doesn’t require any great effort.

10. To master a new cooking technique. Ganache,perhaps, or maybe cooking freshwater fish.

So that’s what I want to do in 2008. 4 food related resolutions, 3 personal character issues, 2 Housewife issues, and 1 personal maintanence choice.

I figure if I can keep 2 of the 10 resolutions, I’ll be doing well. I’m shooting for eat more fish (tacos) and get my hair cut more often.

Resolutions I Didn’t Make:

1. to lose weight. Fie. I’ve tried diets and gym memberships (and yes, I went 5 days a week, 2 hours each time and did not lose weight) and my body is determined to be soft, round and well upholstered. I’ve just going to have to deal with it.

2. Eat more vegetables. I eat more vegetables already.

3. Go to the gym every day. Why? So I can spend an hour on a machine every day to remain The GirlfFriend of Bibendum? No. I’d rather chop weeds in the garden.

3. Be nicer to people. HA! Yeah, right. HA! Resolutions are supposed to be doable. If I didn’t have my precious sarcasm I’d have no friends at all. No…wait…

4.Be a better Christian. Isn’t that always the mandate? No matter what, we cannot be perfectly like Christ. It’s not possible. If it were, He never would have needed to come, right? So, I’ll try to keep my sour opinions to myself, but that’s about as good as it’s going to get.

5.can’t think of anything else?

Here’s some resolutions from others: (source-wsfa.org)
I will not jump out of any more windows – John Sheridan of Babylon Five

I will end the Wheel of Time Series sometime this century – Robert Jordan

I will admit to being a science fiction writer – Kurt Vonnegut, Margaret Atwood, Ursula LeGuin, etc.

We will replace half of our licensed books with backlist titles and out of print SF classics – Publishers of science fiction

We will not have any more aliens cut off all ties to their homeworld and past – Producers of Deep Space Nine

I won’t insist on always being the one who saves the universe. – Ender (in Orson Scot Card’s books)

I vow to write lots of articles and draw lots of cartoons for the WSFA Journal – The members of WSFA

I will not let my ancestors determine my actions, oh and I will stop using so much spice – Alia Atreides of the Dune Books.

We will not invade Earth again- aliens from practically all of 1996’s SF movies (Independence Day, Mars Attacks and even Star Trek: First Contact)

I will read criminals their rights before destroying them – E. E. Doc Smith’s Kimball Kinnison

I will talk to other people before jumping to conclusions – practically any Mercedes Lackey character.

I will confess my secret ambition to be a history professor – Harry Turtledove