Because it really is personal…

I feel as though someone has inserted 2 pickled meyer lemons way up my nose into behind my eyes.

My throat’s not sore anymore, thank you Long Haired Hippie-Freak Tea Company called Celestial Seasonings and their Lemon Zinger blend.

I keep cough-sneezing, wads of tissues all over because I’m too whupped to fetch a trash can. If I leave them long enough, the dogs will handle it.

I think I brought up a lung a bit ago. Rosie looked concerned and Lily licked my toes.

I hate this, feeling sick and useless. My whole sense of self is wrapped up in what I can do and when I can’t do for a few days (ugh…I just realized I haven’t brushed my teeth today…nasty) I get all pitiful and O! Poor Me! and stuff, and I lean on Classico from a jar for supper. Yes indeed. Sauce from a jar, salad from a bag, and let the 15 yr old cook the noodles. Do we live in a great country or what!

Yesterday, I was cleaning up the kitchen after supper and I wondered to myself “what would happen if something really, really random took place. Like, while taking #4 to school, there was an elephant walking down the median. Or if the Publishers Clearing House Toadies showed up and gave me a check for a zillion $$.”

While I was having these thoughts I was wiping down the counters and table, moving items and replacing them. Then it occurred to me. One of the items was a defused hand grenade. On my kitchen table. As if that were the most ordinary thing there was. Salt, pepper, hand grenade. Who needs elephants?

Then, as I ponder elephants, hand grenades, and the stain on the kitchen table that looks like Woody Allen, #4 goes trotting by, dragging a chunk of firewood on a string. I asked him, “#4, what are you doing?”. He stops and gives me a blank look for a few seconds, and replies, “I’m walking my log.”

SOmetimes you really have to watch out what you wish for.